Archive for the funeral business

Life working at a funeral home – SO BUSY

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 20, 2017 by thefuneralbizz

First off, I got a new tablet and I haven’t mastered this keyboard yet and so there will be a lot of spelling errors…my apologies!

Secondly, I have not posted in a long time…I have a lot to write about, but of course its mainly about how truly awful people are. So yes, this post will once again be me venting and bitching! sorry, but this is why I started this blog, to vent my frustrations!! So let’s begin the bitch fest!

I’ve about had it with people, had with the way people feel its ok to speak to others so rudely. How everyone is so quick to pass the blame or take out their bad day in people they have never met before. How people have become so demanding! Its not only those planning a funeral either, it can be a simple phone call asking a question, but just gotta be a smartass or rude, or don’t like the answer… Especially if your calling for pricing. You called and asked me to give you a price. I give you that price and you don’t like it. You have the option of saying a few things. You can simply sand Thank You and end the call. You can ask for differnt prices of other options, you can say ok, that’s out of my price range but thank you for your time…. I don’t see the need for any rude remarks. I don’t see any need for anyone to start bitching about how “I” charge way too much just to rip people off, etc. You don’t like the price, that’s fine, just say thanks good bye! 

When we are assisting you in planning a funeral, there are SEVERAL questions that need to be asked. We aren’t doing it just to piss you off! I would say most of the questions that we ask come in the beginning of the arrangement. Those questions are the info we need for the death certificate. You know, those death certificate’s everyone thinks are gold and just have to have them now! Well, without the info we cannot get you any! We always explain before starting with the questions why we are asking, yet it never fails that we get asked, “….what are ais these for, and why are these questions necessary”? So we go back and explain again! Its as if we are wasting their time. Its irritating. Know what else is irritating…When you have a family come in and there are several family members and they all talk over you and get off track and the arrangement lasts for two hours! Then while we are trying to get questions answered and trying to do all the work so the family doesn’t have to.. We sometime step away into another office to make those calls especially if there are a lot of people in the arrangement office, because they can’t be quiet long enough for us to be on the phone. So while we are making phone calls on behalf of the family, the family is in the arrangement office, we usually leave them to pick out prayer cards or flowers other times we just say that we will be a few minutes. Well the other day, we had to call the cemetery and while on the phone, which was approximately 10 minutes, here comes one of the family members. My boss was on the phone in another office and I was in mine. The person who came walking into the office was one of the deceaseds sons. I said hello and he said, “where’s that guy that was meeting with us, we need to get this wrapped up and get a move on, we still need to pick out the flowers and my sisters don’t feel like sitting around here anymore”. REALLY?? That irritated me. You need to get this wrapped up and tired of sitting around here? Well, we could have told you to call the cemetery yourself, we could have told you to go get your own flowers, but no. That “guy” you were meeting with is the Funeral Director and he TOLD you that he was going to call the cemetery for you and he would be back in a few minutes, it make take a few… So I said to him that the DIRECTOR is on the phone with the cemetery getting YOU and your family the information you will need and he will be done once he gets that information for you, so you can go ahead and go back to the arrangement office and the director will be back once he finishes up. He simply just walked away. Its just bothersome that noone can just take into consideration that WE are actually helping you. If we didn’t do these things then it would be that we aren’t helping you enough! Also this particular family wanted a specific day for viewing and funeral, unfortunately we could not accommodate them for the days they wanted, we already had two other families there for visitation and funeral services. Believe me when I say we do not like telling anyone we cannot accommodate them for the dates they want. Well, they were not happy about it and asked why there was nothing we could do.. My boss explained to them the reason why and he apologized and discounted their funeral charges, but that was still not enough.. He just came out and told them that there was nothing he could do and if they needed to go to another funeral home then that’s what they should do and he wouldn’t charge them the transport fee. In the end they stayed with us but made it clear they were disappointed. Ok, so we are fully aware you are not happy about it, so are you going to keep bitching about it? So finally they were on their way, thank God. That same day we had another arrangement about an hour later, it was close to the end of the day and I had been running my ass off. Before the next arrangement came in, my boss was in the embalming room, I was working on all the funeral arrangements and answering the phones. The family who had just left called. It was one of the daughter’s of the deceased. She wanted to know if there was anything at all we could do to accommodate them for the day they wanted!! Were you not just here for almost two hours discussing this! No, I’m sorry, there is not one single thing we can do! On to the next arrangement, not as stressful as the other one but during that arrangement, someone is at the door. I answer it and it’s the other family! They have “things” they need to drop off…. I asked what they had and if there is a lot. They say, yes there is a lot, food, soda pop, snacks, pictures, and the deceaseds violin!! They have a stand for it and NEED to set it up! I told them they could bring it in, but could not set it up because there is a body in the chapel whose funeral is in the morning! They of course were not happy about this and said they HAD to set it up and can’t they just place it in back of the chapel? No, you cannot, there will be a family in there tomorrow along with their friends and family, I don’t think they will understand why your mothers violin is in their room! So, they said they had to bring in their food. I had to explain to them they were welcome to bring it in but we would have to put it all in the storage closet until after the other family leaves, again, not pleased with anything I was telling them! I told them I would leave the door unlocked for them so they could bring in their things. I’m pretty sure they expected me to help them and if I had not been so busy I may have, but at this point I was fed up with them. They even asked ifthere wasn’t another door closer they could use. Unfortunately there is not and I was given the “ugh, ok”. Because somehow its my fault. Maybe you just don’t need to bring in ALL that CRAP! On to day of visitation, big family, lots of kids! No one bothered to watch these screaming misbehaved children who thought it would be ok to color on the bathroom walls with their crayons! They were obviously bored being stuck at a funeral home all day because at one point they decided to make about 20 cups of coffee using all the cream and sugar and make a horrendous sticky mess and put the empty coffee pots back on the hot burners! First of all WHYwere they allowed to play with HOT coffee!! I just don’t get it!! They were also playing with something that had a lot of glitter because it was everywhere! I am always amazed by the lack of supervision! I don’t understand why no parent is watching what and where their kid is at and what they are doing!! Then for them to destroy our bathroom walls and not one person apologized or offered to pay for the cleaning cost.. This is one of the reasons why funeral costs are high and continue to rise, overhead! Who do you think has to pay for the cleaning and damages? Not that it happens that often where we actually have to repair or replace things, but it does happen, cleaning we must constantly do. 

I’ll stop here and stop the moaning and groaning, for now ūüėÄ

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The Funeral Business – It never fails…!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on July 21, 2012 by thefuneralbizz

Every Friday at 5pm….we get a walk in! It never fails! WHY…WHY….WHY…??? Why don’t they call first? Makes me want to cry sometimes and other times, it makes me want to punch something! How hard is it to make a phone call!?!?!?! Don’t ‘most’ people have cell phones? Even if you are actually driving to our funeral home…can’t you just call and say that someone has passed and you wanted to come to make arrangements and is now ok? Because you are driving right now¬†and near the funeral home? I mean, maybe, just maybe, we are busy with another family…or getting ready to leave!!!!!!! I don’t know how many times, we get all the lights shut off, have our keys in our hands and…..DING DONG! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?¬†OR…we have visitation going on and all the day people including the Director are heading out the door¬†or the Director is already gone and someone comes in and says “I need to speak to the Director or I need to speak to someone about making funeral arrangements”.¬†Really? Now?¬†I really love the ones who say, “hi, ¬†so and so passed away and we need to make funeral arrangements, we didn’t know if we needed an appointment or not”. Well, YOU didn’t know you needed an appointment because you DIDN’T CALL!! I cannot remember a Friday in the recent past that we have not got a walk-in between 4pm and 5:30pm! There are somethings that we are unable to do after a certain time. If it is after 4pm, especially on a Friday, we aren’t able to get information from the cemetery for you. They are CLOSED! If for some reason you select a certain casket and want a different panel in, or hardware that we are unsure they can make like that, we are unable to call to find out. Even getting ahold of clergy for you is difficult on a Friday evening!¬† I just get that feeling in the pit of my stomach when I hear the door¬†close to closing time.¬†It sucks. I know it sucks for the person who just lost someone as well…But I just don’t get and probably never will, how people just show up without calling first!¬†Or when people show up during a funeral service.¬†It is OBVIOUS that a funeral is going on. So WHY would you just walk in? Don’t you feel like you are intruding on someone’s funeral?

If your loved one was a Veteran they are entitled¬†to a Military Honor Guard Service.¬†There IS a charge for¬†having one. Just as you would donate¬†to¬†the clergy for their time, you would make a donation¬†to the Honor Guard. These Veteran’s take time out their day to Honor their fallen¬†brother/sister.¬†Their donation/charge is typically $100. Which is by far cheap!¬†Several Veteran’s show up, not just one or two. They will do the service at the funeral home if you wish or the cemetery. So they are taking the time out of their day, each one of them is using their fuel to drive to the funeral home or cemetery. Dressing in uniform. Using ammo.¬†So how do some people feel as if they do not OWE them any money? We recently had a man who was a Veteran and the family¬†the son was pretty much the only person making arrangements. He was cremated¬†but¬†he planned on a burial of the cremated remains at a cemetery. The son wanted the Honor Guard service at the cemetery.¬†He asked us if we would set it up or if he had to do it because he didn’t want to be¬†bothered with having to do it….! We told him we would do it, he would just need to let us know when¬†and where he planned on having the burial, because the cemetery that he was to be¬†buried at was not in our area, it was about an hour and half away. The son¬†also wanted us to contact the cemetery to set all of that up too.¬†We told him to call us when he decided when this was going to be. So, when he came to pick up the cremated remains, he said he was still not sure when he wanted to do¬†the burial but would call and let us know. Now, we do not need to be¬†present for the burial of cremated remains, unless the family requests us to be¬†there, but if the family wants us there, we do charge for that.¬†This was explained¬†to the son. he said, okay, that he understood. So, a couple of weeks go by and he calls and asks if we have the Honor Guard set up? We tell him, No, because we¬†have not been notified of when the burial will take place.¬†That we would wait until we know so we can let the Honor Guard know, it is pretty pointless to contact them if we do not know when the burial will take place. Well, he asked if we know who we were going to call since the cemetery is not in our area. We told him that we would¬†contact¬†the¬†Veteran’s in the¬†area near the cemetery. He asked if he needed to find out where they are located, because he really didn’t want to be¬†bothered with it! YEAH, we know you don’t ! so quit calling us! So, we went ahead and contacted¬†the veteran’s in that location¬†and asked them about their fee and to let them know we would be needing them once the family let us know when the burial would be. He said, sure no problem, but to try to give them¬†a couple of days¬†notice since they are a smaller group and would have to make sure they had enough men. Okay, sounds good. Well, the son finally called us about a week later to let us know that he spoke with the cemetery and what is a good day for us? REALLY? So…we explained once again, that we are not ¬†needed to be¬†at the cemetery unless he wants us there. If he does, than there will be a charge. He¬†claimed he was not informed of that, but okay, as long as “we are sure” we are not required to be¬†there and he definitely¬†does not want to have to pay us when all we are doing is driving there¬† to watch!!!! He asked about the Veterans’ and if they would be able to do it that following Thursday? We told him we would call them and find out, but didn’t think it would be a problem but they do require¬†a fee of $100. He said, “A $100 for what? I thought this was a Veteran’s Honor Guard Service? You don’t have to pay for anything when it is the Military”! So, we explained that they do not do this for free. They have fuel for travel and time out of their day. There is a standard fee for all Military services! He wanted to know EXACTLY what he was paying them for!!! Unbelievable! Then he said, I did not want to do this, I did not want to have to take the time to call around myself to set this up, but since you guys keep screwing things up guess I will have to! We asked what exactly are we screwing up? He told us that we couldn’t get anything right! THEN had the nerve to ask us for the phone numbers for the Veteran’s so he could call! We called the Veteran’s that we contacted and told them what was going on…He said that is what their fee is. However, if he is going to bitch so much about it or really doesn’t have the funds, then they would reduce¬†the fee or if only a few of the men went they wouldn’t charge him.¬† The son called us back the following day to ask us if the Honor Guard service would include the gun salute. We said yes. We also told him that we spoke to the Veteran’s and what they said. He then said to us, “if only a few guys show up how will we have the gun salute? If I have to pay $100 I want all 21 men there!!!!!! I am NOT paying for only 3 men to show up when I feel it should be¬†what every other¬†Veteran gets and that is a 21 gun salute! We told him that 21 men never show up for the service, it is typically 7 men !! So he argued with us that we had no idea what we are talking about! We said “there are 7 men, you get your 21 gun salute! 7 men shoot 3 times each! And if 7 men could not show up, the Veteran’s will make it work no matter what! He still said he was NOT happy and that we just keep screwing¬† everything up! So, we asked if he was going to take care of it than since he felt we were not doing a good job? he said YEP! So…I have no idea what happened. To be honest…I don’t care either! Hope we never have to deal with him again.

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