Archive for ignorant people

Life Working at a funeral home – VENTING!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 25, 2017 by thefuneralbizz

I’ve been working on another post, but I have to vent!

First of all, I want to say to anyone who may be reading this that the reason I started this blog was so I could vent my frustrations. over the past 9 years, I’ve had a few comments about my bitching.. my purpose was and is not to argue with anyone or start arguements, but I do realize that it happens, especially on the Internet. I haven’t really really vented in a while, but right now I just need to. So if anyone is reading this and gets upset by what I write here, I make no apologies and I will not respond to any comments that lead to a back and forth arguing.

I’ve mentioned in other posts about how I feel about people, that they are rude, no one has any manners anymore and everything  is now now now! It has just got out of hand and I for one am just beyond fed up! I’m tired of having to bend over backwards for people! I get it, I work in the funeral business, but I’m still sick of rude obnoxious spoiled people. I am tired of the people who I have to deal with including ‘some’ of the families we get. Why don’t people LISTEN?!? We are NOT at the funeral home 24/7! We are NOT there just sitting around waiting just incase you want to stop by at 5pm on Sunday evening because you want to drop off the pictures for the visitation you are going to have on Tuesday at Noon! NO! We are not going to sit and wait around on you on a Saturday evening because you want to drop off clothing that we TOLD you to bring in by 5pm on FRIDAY! ! It doesn’t work that way! We have hours of operation just like other businesses! The only difference is that we make ourselves available after hours incase a death occurs. Of course we will answer a call at anytime of the day or night for a death call. We are not available anytime of the day or night because someone needs a work or school excuse. You actually think that we are going to stop what we are doing on a Sunday afternoon  (the funeral home is closed if there is no visitation), and run to the funeral home because someone forgot to get a work excuse while they were there for the funeral? NO we aren’t! It’s just dumb shit anymore. I have people call during the evening or on weekends when we are closed and say that they are at the funeral home but no one is answering the door! Nine times out of ten, they are annoyed that no one is there! Really? You just decided to show up and you’re mad? Then to find out its just because they have a couple cases of water to drop off for their visitation the following day! Look, you set times for your visitation, you get a family hour! How long does it take really to carry a few cases of water into the funeral home? Maybe ten minutes TOPS?!? I hate when we set times and the family hour is all set and the next question I get is, ‘so what time can we all come”? Are you kidding me?
Want want want, but don’t put forth the effort to get what you want! You want grandma in a certain dress, she cannot wear anything else. Fine, that’s understandable, but when you are told that we MUST have that dress by a certain time, BRING it by that time!! You want a photo on the prayer folders, we tell you we must have that photo by a certain time in order for them to be ready by your visitation, then have it to us by that time!
Another annoying thing, when families start telling everyone when visitation and funeral will be BEFORE they even come in to make arrangements! DO NOT DO THAT! Don’t post on social media about it, nothing, until you have actually made the ARRANGEMENTS with the funeral home!!
You may want your viewing on Tuesday and funeral on Wednesday and you want specific times, and usually we can and will accommodate that, but sometimes we can’t! Also it may not even be us who is unable to accommodate those days and times, it could be that your priest or pastor is not available at that time, or the church is not available at that time! USE COMMON SENSE! Just because someone died, the world does not stop! And I absolutely hate when the attitude comes out because they don’t get their way!
Same thing with the God forsaken death certificates! It’s sometimes the only thing some people are focused on. You’ll get the freaking death certificates, but we cannot force the doctor to sign it any faster! Believe me, if we could we would! They are becoming harder and harder to accomplish anymore and when we try and explain the process of getting a death certificate signed, no one listens! If people would just shut up for two seconds and stop being so selfish and understand that there are some things that you just have to wait for! Trust me when I say I want nothing more then to get the death certificate signed and give to you asap!
Food, yes, my biggest pet peeve! I dislike those of you who bring in food! I’ve always bitched about it, but never really came right out and said I can’t stand those families who feel the need to bring in a shit load of fucking food! It’s like the biggest concern, not the deceased, but the freaking food! And.. why? Why do you need to bring in so much food anyway? Some snacks, water, even some soda, fine, but people, STOP it with your freaking food at the funeral home! You do not need to feed the people who are coming to pay their respects! especially if you plan on having a luncheon! ERGHHH!
As I have said before, if you are here for visitation and will be all day, then leave for an hour to go eat! Or bring “yourself” some thing in. I just get so irritated with the families who make it all about their food, when can we bring in the food? is there enough room? do you supply plates and utensils? cups? water? napkins? is there tables for everyone to sit at, should we bring in our own table? where will we keep the food that needs to be kept cold? And I just love when they bring in their crock pots!

Children.. they are YOUR kids, NOT MINE! I will not watch your kids. If you must bring them with you then you need to keep them under control and they should be on their best behavior! They should not be permitted to run around like wild animals. There are things that they can get hurt on. Our funeral home is not child proof and you should not assume it is. We have steps/stairs and when your brats are let loose to run wild, well, when they fall or go rolling down the stairs and crack their heads open on the tile, it’s no one’s fault but your own! It’s is also not a place for their screaming! It is still a place of business and we are still working here. Use common sense!! Your kid is yelling and screaming, would you allow that at home while you are on the phone? Do you allow them to yell and scream and run up and down and up and down and up and down your steps? Probably not! Then don’t let them do it at the funeral home! Sometimes there are more then one family using the funeral home and that other family does not want to hear your kid! Have some respect for others!
If and when an employee does tell your child to quiet down or stop running, do not give them dirty looks, if you were doing your job as a parent, then the employee would not have had to say anything! I think it’s ridiculous that you bring your small children to a funeral home all day anyway. Get a sitter! Go home! take turns with your spouse or other family member. Bring them some books to read or color, do not assume they will be ok unsupervised! You may not be the only family using the funeral home, you have no idea what kind of people are here or who can walk in the door! We do not stand at the door and ask who every person is as they come in.
Flowers. . We get flowers all throughout the day and we have to carry them into the chapel. So if the family and visitors are here and flowers come in, we have to walk in the chapel with a stand and a flower working our way past everyone. Be polite and MOVE for us would ya?!? Also, when we set the flowers down, don’t stand over my shoulder waiting to look at the card! Wait a minute until I walk away! Also, if you don’t see your flowers you sent, sure you can ask us about it, but if we don’t have your flowers and they aren’t on our sign in list, then you need to contact the flower shop. I’m not sure why we get asked, “why aren’t my flowers set out”? Well, if they didn’t get delivered then I can’t set them out.”
Then comes the… “why were my flowers not delivered”? I don’t know, call the place you ordered them from!
It’s just stupid shit really.. But it adds up and pisses me off! We had a very busy few months and people have been really more annoying than usual.
There is alot to do and think about once someone passes, but it still is not an excuse to be an asshole! And yes, I’ve lost loved ones and yes, I’ve been the one who made the arrangements. And during those times I was not a jerk to anyone just because.
I received a comment recently.. it was said that I was quick to judge. There may be times when I am, sure. But, probably more so outside of work. It is difficult to judge those people/families I work with because I actually get to know them. I’ve never met these people before, so when they come in I meet them for the first time and immediately get to know them. I work with them from the moment I speak to them on the phone or the moment they walk in the door so I don’t really get the opportunity to judge anyone before getting to know them, especially in this business. If there is an insurance assignment, it is to pay the funeral bill, anything left over goes to the beneficiary/beneficiaries. I hear the stories!

So, there it is, my rant. I’m just burnt out. . I’m sure those in the business can understand.


another funeral service another day……….

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2009 by thefuneralbizz

here we go gain. another white trash day!

of course here we go, another young person who lost their life to drugs. why do these young people do that? it is upsetting. but also makes me just shake my head in disgust. i have seen it too many times. and here is what really makes me feel no pity for these young people. they show up at the funeral home and have no respect for anyone. not the family of the decease, not the people who work at the funeral home (me) and not for themselves. they talk out in the hallway and i can hear what they are talking about, i go in the lounge and i can hear what they are talking about. they talk about why so and so died, but in the same conversation it’s ‘let’s go out to the car and smoke one’. they aren’t talking about smoking a cigarette. or ‘let’s go out to the car and do a line’. come on. when are you kids gonna wake up. why do you think at this very second you are standing inside a funeral home? because you so-called friend just died because he did what you want to go out to your car to do. do you want to be next? most of you are barely legal to drink. but yet you all have kids, most of you,i’m sure are unwed. just an assumption, but more than likely true. you show up looking like your going out to the club. do you not have any respect for anyone or yourself? i hate working when we have these types of funeral or visitations, i just cannot stand it anymore. and i am so so so so so so sick of hearing about what a “good guy” or great girl” he or she was, blah blah blah……..not only at work, but on the news when someone shoots someone or gets shot in a gang related incident or someone who was drunk driving and killed someone and their family appears on the news and talks about what a caring great person this person was. BULLSHIT. i am so sick of it. then have to turn around and see it in person at work. makes me want to gag. i wonder often where the parents were while this person was growing up? yeah yeah, i know, all kids do stupid shit and parents cannot be there 24 hours a day. i know this first hand, i did alot of stupid shit when i was a teenager, BUT, my parents taught me right from wrong and i knew when too much was too much. i knew the consequences. i knew BETTER! i know all kids do not have great parents and aren’t always taught things like that. it is unfortunate. but really, once you reach a certain age, you yourself should know better and know right from wrong. i also know that times are tough everywhere and people feel as if they just can’t handle any more. whether it is a loss of a job, home, etc… it sucks! i also know this first hand. right now, no matter how many hours of work i get, i know that i am lucky! i have seen too many young people who have taken their lives because of this. but anyway…. what i am really pissed about are these ‘kids’ that show up to see their friend who just died because he over dosed and they are standing around talking about going to do drugs themselves. they stand up in front of the room full of people and cry and carry on because they just lost this person but turn around and go do the same thing.

also, again, with the whole money issue. if you do not have enough money to have a big funeral, then DON’T! i am getting so frustrated with people and hearing about they have no money, which, believe me, I know! but yet they sit there and argue with us that they want this and that but they can’t pay for it. now days, things are tough, ALL OVER! even the funeral business! if you can’t afford to have more than one day of visitation then don’t and don’t argue with me that we are charging too much and being unfair because you can’t afford it. we offer so many different packages to fit what you can afford. and, again, we do not take payments. i just can’t stand getting an attitude when people ask me if they can make payments and i say no. we just don’t. first reason being because in the past, when we have accepted payments…..well, guess what, we are still waiting on those payments. i have people from back in 1998 that still have no paid their bill. that is why we don’t take payments. sometimes we will give a discount. or if say, you’re a hundred bucks shy, then yeah, we will tell you, okay, you have 2 weeks to get us the rest. but come on people. i’m sick of people rolling their eyes at me when i give them prices. or on the phone when people call for pricing, and i give them a price and they get rude with me. why on earth are being rude to me. you don’t know me. you asked me a price and i gave it to you. if you don’t like it, then say ‘thank you, good-bye”. is that so freaking hard?

if you know someone who is going to be laid out at a funeral home and you know the times of the visitation and the funeral service, don’t come early. i cannot stress this enough. you will not be let in. i don’t care if you are on your lunch hour. i don’t care if you are going out-of-town. i don’t care if you have to work. i don’t care if someone gave you’re the wrong times. if you come early you will not be let in. if the family has not been there yet, what makes you think that you will be allowed to go in? if it was one of your family members that was laid out and you had not viewed him/her yet would you like it if someone went in before you? probably not. most people are like that. and i don’t blame them. and again, do not roll your eyes and argue, it will get you no where!

when making arrangements if we tell you that we already have 2 visitations starting the same day you are thinking of having yours that usually means we are suggesting you wait a day. we won’t make you wait, and we may even say it to you, “we already have 2 families here that day, would you like to wait a day, because it is going to be very crowded here and you  may not have enough room, also the lounge area will be crowded and if you plan on bringing in any food there may not be a lot of room for you, we will do our best, but……” listen to our advice. ! please! because when you decide that you do not want to wait one more day and then realize once you are there that you are not happy because you have no room for you food or family to relax in the lounge. or the coat closets are full of the other families coats or the other family/families are being loud or rude, do NOT come and complain to us about it. we warned you! don’t tell me that you are unhappy with your arrangements and the way the funeral home is handling things because the other family is pissing you off or they are getting more of our attention. this is what you chose to do this is what you get. we TOLD you.

if you want to witness a cremation, you must pay! it is not free. don’t sit that and tell me you have never heard of such a thing. you have to pay the crematory. we DO NOT cremate on our premises, it is illegal for a funeral home to run a crematory or a cemetery. in my state, anyway. so we actually have to transport the deceased to the crematory we use. so if you want to witness it, you have to pay the funeral directors charge to go out there, because the crematory requires a funeral director to be present. you also have to pay the crematory. and NO you do not actually get to see the body. yes, people have asked me that. whatever the body is in, that is what they are cremated in. casket and all.

so my parting words are, if you can’t afford it, then don’t do it. there are options, use them. you are not having a funeral for you everyone that is showing up to pay their respects. you are having a funeral for the deceased. don’t feel as if you have to put on some big show with all these flowers and all the food you can pack into our lounge. the people who are coming to view the deceased are the ones who should be bringing you food! or offering to do things for YOU. not the other way around. the funeral home is NOT a restraunt. it is not a social hall. it is not a banquet facility. it is not a family reunion. for those of you who feel it necessary to stand around and laugh and carry on like a bunch of animals, take it someplace else. this is not the place for that. of course laughter is the best medicine, but do it with respect. don’t show up drunk or high and make an idiot of yourself. dress appropriately. act civilized!

put the cell phones away….

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on October 16, 2009 by thefuneralbizz

I guess I just don’t get it…  why would anyone decide that it is okay to use their cell phone while at a funeral? Is the phone call that important? I had a visitation yesterday. LOTS of people showed up. Lots of little brats were there as well…go figure. Did the parents seem to care that they were running up and down the halls and screaming on top of their lungs? NOPE! ALL DAY and from what I hear ALL NIGHT! How many times do you have to yell at other peoples kids before they get the hint? SO, once again people, the funeral home is NOT your babysitter and even though you may feel that it is a safe place to let your kids roam around, IT IS NOT! There are things the kids can get into and it IS NOT a place where they should be running and screaming! So, then the funeral was this morning. The actual funeral service was to start at 10am. NO ONE showed up on time! How does this happen? Then when the family did finally arrive a half hour LATE, and the service began, if that is what you want to call it, the Pastor began speaking and geee, guess what, NO ONE was paying attention. HOW FREAKING RUDE, and the kids again were running up and down the halls screaming and running in and out of the chapel, do you people really no have the common sense to behave at a funeral even? I am so sick of people just carrying on however they feel with no regards to what is going on around them. So, the service raps up and the friends are passing by the casket and speaking to the family, and this one skinny crack riddled whore decided she MUST be on her cell phone. You my dear are a dumb ignorant bitch! You were not even being quite about it. Just walking around talking and laughing. You know what i have to say to you? FUCK YOU! Hopefully when someone dear to you passes away and you are saying your last good byes while the funeral home employees are getting ready to close the casket and you are crying because you know this is the last time you will ever see this person, I hope that someone is as rude as you are and gets on their cell phone and stars carrying on a conversation and laughing and talking. And to those of you who thought it okay to just get up in the middle of the service and walk out of the chapel, fuck you too! I am also sick of people, just dumbfucks off the street coming to my door and asking for money or if they can use the restroom. What does the place look like to you a fucking rest area? It is a funeral home, why do you think we would have any money on hand to just pass out? IGNORANT! Don’t fucking just decide that while you are walking by that for some unknown fucking reason, you are just going to see if my door is open by pulling on it. Why the fuck do you do that? You always walk by buildings and just try to open doors? This goes for the actual people who come to the funeral home because they have an appt. or because their dumbasses decide that they are just going to SHOW up because someone died and did not call for an appt. You walk up to the door and immediately try to open it. When it doesn’t open you start pulling on the fucking door, like it will magically open for your dumbass! TRY READING THE BIG FUCKING SIGN right in front of you dumb fuck face that says RING BELL! If there is nothing going on, we keep the doors LOCKED just like most other funeral homes! FUCK! Yes, I am irritated today. just sick of fucking people who don’t give a fuck. I am sick of driving home and some dick head riding my ass when I am already speeding. Sick of people who are in the fast lane not even doing the fucking speed limit! Sick of LIARS! Sick of getting questioned about other (yes the new bitch) employees work. If I wasn’t there, then I don’t fucking know and if you want me to know then get rid of the whore bimbo twat and have me there. I am NOT double checking her fucking work anymore. If she fucks shit up, too fucking bad. And when I am asked I am say, ASK WHORE, she did it! I’m done now…………I feel a little better………….now I am going to bed.

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