Life at a funeral home – WTF (funeral attire)


So I guess you could say I am in a bad mood today… just irritable I suppose. Ready for this week to be done and OVER! TGIF!
Had a family that also added to my irritability because I just don’t feel it’s appropriate to wear certain things when attending a visitation or funeral. I don’t feel it’s appropriate to wear a mini skirt, a tank top that shows your midriff and a pair of knee high suede boots (let me remind everyone that it is summer and temps are in the upper 80’s and very humid, so knee high suede boots should not be a choice of foot wear this time of year) as well as short shorts and flip flops. I understand that it is hot and humid, believe me, I am the first to bitch about being hot, especially since I wear a black suit to work every single day! But I still don’t feel it’s ok to wear certain things when attending a funeral! I don’t care how hot or cold it is outside, wear appropriate clothing! When you are IN the funeral home we have air conditioning/ heat, so it is not as if you are standing in the heat/cold for hours! If anything you will be outside as you walk to and from your vehicle, which most have air/heat in their vehicle! Then, if attending the funeral, same thing, except you may spend a half hour at gravesite or in cemetery chapel.
Also spending most of your time outside hanging out in parking lot of funeral home during visitation is really not appropriate either, to me it’s not anyway. I don’t think it is respectful to tailgate during your loved ones visitation and i dont feel its respectful to the funeral home! Sitting/hanging outside the funeral home drinking, smoking, being loud, is not ok! Nor is walking in and out constantly, opening and shutting the door constantly! Spending all of your time in the lounge is not appropriate either. At one point the other day, there were two older women in the chapel with deceased…all together there were about 35-40 people here. Where were the other people you ask…Either outside or in lounge. Back to it being hot out, when you keep opening the doors, guess what happens!?! You are letting the hot or cold air in!! I didn’t realize how many people did not know this (sarcasm) , but apparently not many realize this fact! So…when you (the family/guests) start complaining about it being to hot or too cold, maybe you should tell others to keep the freakin doors CLOSED! We get too many people that come to us and ask us to turn the air down because its too hot or turn heat up because its too cold. When I see the same people going in and out the doors constantly, it aggrivates me because I’m thinking to myself that if they would just stay inside and quit opening the doors it would stay a steady temp in the funeral home! I understand the need to go outside to get some air or take a break or a smoke break.. but I am talking about people going in and out and in and out and in and out! It also doesn’t help when there are smaller children and no one is watching them or no one cares what they are doing, so they are playing with the doors and running outside then inside then outside… especially disturbing as we are located on a busy 4 lane road! It is not my responsibility to watch YOUR children. Not my responsibility to correct them. I hate having to reprimand other peoples kids!!! Yet I find that almost every visitation I am telling someones kids NOT to do something, wether it be running up and down steps, playing on steps, running up and down halls, opening doors, being where they shouldn’t be, yelling and screaming. None of those things should even occur but since for some reason parents dont give two shits what their kids do at a funeral home! Your children should also be in proper attire, not pajamas..and they should also keep their shoes on at all times! This is not your house. This place is used by many other families. Altho we do our best to keep the funeral home clean, you can only imagine all the people who walk in and out of here, i certainly wouldn’t walk barefoot here. Which leads me to this…as those who feel it necessary to hang outside like it’s a football game, I noticed the other day there were several people, most being female, who were walking around barefoot in the parkinglot..NOT a good idea! Who knows what is on the ground, we try to keep up outside by sweeping..but its usually all the cigarette butts that people fling all over when there is an ashtray RIGHT THERE! But anyway, who knows if there is glass in the lot or God knows what! I have found banana peels in the parking lot before! Plus..it just looks trashy to walk around like that. Sorry..it does!! If a family walked in here and saw the employees walkin around barefoot they wouldn’t probably like that, would they? ….well, actually some just may like it now that i think about it…lol
Back to clothing. There is a line between sexy and sleezy. There is also a time and a place for sexy (..and sleazy, i suppose..lol), and one of those times and places is NOT AT A FUNERAL HOME! READ CAREFULLY, You are not dressing for a concert. You are not dressing for a date or a night on the town. You are not dressing for a party or a wedding…you are dressing for a funeral! There is no shame in accentuating your assets, but please, there is no need for them to be out on display!!
For those who feel it necessary to hang out in the lounge, clean up after yourself! Clean up after your children! And do not make a mess of the restrooms! Do you typically NOT flush your toilet at home? Do you usually leave wadded up toilet paper on the floor? I doubt it! When blowing your nose in the chapel, do not leave your tissues on the floor, on the furniture or stuffed between cushions! And people wonder how they get sick!! There are employees who have to clean up..I doubt anyone likes picking up snotty tissues!
When we tell you that food or drink is not allowed in chapels ONLY in lounge, it really isnt necessary to be a jerk to us. We dont want you spilling stuff all over the place. We aren’t saying every single person is a clutz, but who knows if someone may bump into you or if you set it down someone else may accidentally knock it over or if you do set it down it may make a ring on our tables. Who do you think pays for that?
For those who lack the common sense gene.. it is NOT ok to be loud at the funeral home, especially during the funeral service! Upon entering the funeral home, one should not be talking so loudly that I can hear you all the way in the back, or laughing or screaming! If you have kids and they are misbehaving, take them outside or better yet, HOME! It’s not ok for a bunch of you to pile in the restroom and carry on, laughing and yelling, or worse, arguing! Because everyone can still hear you!!
This week I have just had it with these types of people. Believe me, I have seen and heard it all..but for some reason this week has just got to me. I am amazed at how people act anymore, dress, and how some feel they are entitled to act as they are above everyone else or feel they are entitled to behave badly because ‘they just lost someone’. Those same people being the very ones who are loud and disrespectful! I’m not sure if it is how I was brought up, but I would never treat someone I have just met or never met, like a piece of trash. I was also taught to ALWAYS say please and thank you and most of all…To treat others as you would like to be treated!

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3 Responses to “Life at a funeral home – WTF (funeral attire)”

  1. I suppose big signs on how to behave and wear in a funeral home will not work because such arrogant and inconsiderate people will probably not read it. I feel sorry for your cleaners 😦

    • …Im not sure why, but I approved your comment yesterday and relied but it didn’t post! Weird.. but anywho… Not many people pay attention to the signs we have up now! We have a few signs that read, “Please keep all food and beverages in lounge only, thank you”. They are posted in the hall leading to lounge, one is at door way to lounge and another near coffee pot and fridge! Yet, there are still those who we see in chapel carrying their cup of coffed or kids running around with their bag of cheetos and a can of soda. We also get alot of people who will bring in McDonald’s or some other fast food and immediately sit in the common area and sit all their food out for themselves and usually their kids and have their meal right there! But when we tell them that they have to go eat in the lounge they get upset.. I dont understand why it is such a big deal for people to just follow the rules… or why they would get upset. If they didnt see the signs and just say they are sorry they didnt know, well thats one thing, but to just blatantly ignore the signs, well…

  2. Jeff Harbeson Says:

    The masses…certainly are not the classes.

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