Life at a funeral home-Markers/Headstones, cemeteries & money oh my!


Just want to explain something about Markers/headstones. Yes, the funeral home sells them as well as the cemetery and there are a handful of independent monument shops.When you purchase one from the funeral home we don’t run out back and start cutting up the granite we have laying around! We order from a company that we have a relation with. So you come and decide you want a certain color with a certain design and how you want it to read. If you are installing this marker in a catholic cemetery than somewhere on that marker it must have a catholic symbol. Then the cemetery has their own charges for installation….why? Because the cemetery installs them!!!! So we make a proof/drawing of what you want the marker to look like and we send it over to our marker company. They then have a standard proof that they draw up with EXACTLY what the marker will look like. Once the funeral home gets this, we call the family back to OK that final proof. We send it back and the marker company begins making your marker. Once it is complete the marker company delivers it to the appropriate cemetery. NOW….once it us delivered to the cemetery, it is the responsibility of the cemetery to install it!! Does this seem like the proper procedure to everyone? Has anyone actually thought that the funeral home installs these markers? Also, depending on where you live, markers are only installed certain times thru the year, due to the ground freezing. In my are it is between Memorial Day and Labor Day (give or take a few weeks depending on the weather). Yes, you paid the funeral home for the marker but you also paid the cemetery installation charges, you just pay it all to us and we forward the cemetery their money. I just wanted to throw that out there for those who don’t use their thinking caps. Never just ASSUME! If you are not sure….ASK!!!!!! Do not start yelling and demanding shit because YOU didn’t listen to us when we FIRST explained it or just because you cannot possibly take the time to think for yourself!! If more people would just shut the fuck up and listen for one minute then I am positive their would be so many less misunderstandings!

FYI-Yes, even if you have had an unexpected death in the family, you still have to pay! Another example of not using your brain! I mean how many deaths are planned? If you have a lo end one who is in their 90’s, then really, do you start thinking about ‘when’? If a loved one finds out they have cancer and the outlook is not positive, do you start thinking about ‘when’? Sure ya do! However, for most of us we simply don’t think about when it gonna happen…so I’m not real clear on ‘what? Its how much? Well, you know this was very unexpected, so how does that work”? WHAT!?! It all works the same freak in way!! So tell me if you opened your fridge and realized you were all out of food that you would go to the store and say, “I really didn’t know I needed groceries, it was very unexpected, so how does this work now?” I bet the check out lady would say…..either pay for all your shit or get the fuck out of my line!! I’vee said it before and I’ll say it again….if you can’t afford it then find something you can!!!!! And if that means eliminating your luncheon…than so be it!!

4 Responses to “Life at a funeral home-Markers/Headstones, cemeteries & money oh my!”

  1. This post is very nice. Contain very crusial information about headstones and markers for funerals.

  2. Technically all deaths should be planned as they are inevitable… this is seriously something they should teach in high school – a true life economics/budgeting/project management project. You’re welcome to take that idea to the local schools and pitch it. I bet more than one teacher would take you up on it, plus you could consider it a “recruitment” cost.

  3. AdminAsst Says:

    We are fortunate, with everything else we have to deal with, where I work, we don’t have to deal with monuments. We don’t sell them, we simply refer families to a local monument company and are done with it. Well, not always, whenever families find something wrong with the stone (which happens frequently-because so many families are so darned picky!!) they immediately call us. Then we have the pleasure of telling them they have to contact the monument company that they bought the stone and or inscription from. It is out of our hands. (Wish we could do that with obituaries!!! LOL).

    Speaking of costs and paying, we’ve never run into people not wanting to pay because of an unexpected death, but last week I was at another funeral home for business and they told me that a family came in recently and their loved one was obese. They were informed by the FD that they would have to use an oversized casket. The family refused to pay the extra costs for an oversized casket. So the funeral home had to eat the difference in price. Unreal.

    • Lucky you dont have to deal with markers! But still why would they even begin to think of contacting you when something is wrong with the marker they ordered from another company!! Amazing! And yes, oversized caskets, oh how we have had our share of trying to explain to families that they have to purchase oversized casket! In a way i can see the frustration of having to pay more for oversized, its kinda like that whole airline thing when they discussed overweight people having to purchase two seats. Is it right to charge over weight people more because they are overweight? I dont know… i do know that i have had a family or three that have refused, and only because we couldnt tell them right away if the deceased ‘would not’ fit in a regular casket! Its not like we can try on caskets! We cant reuse the casket once we put someone in them! We measure the deceased and that is how we determine! So if someone is just a tiny bit too large and we think maybe an oversize would be best instead of squishing them into a reg one, but some families dont see it that way..

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