Life working at a funeral home-People!!


Hi all!!

I am thankful today that the week is officially over!

I have one question…what the hell is wrong with people?!!!!?

I have been bashed on here quite a few times by those who think I am an awful cold hearted person who should not be in the funeral business. I have said it before and I will say it again…the public sucks…working with the public suck! I don’t care what business you are in. If you have to deal with the public than you know how people can be…unless you are one of those people who is always happy from the moment you open your eyes in the morning … which by the way, I am not a morning person …gee who would a thought…lol!! Actually come to think of it, I don’t think I am an anytime of day person. I saw a photo on line not long ago, it was a drawing and it was of a girl dressed in black and it said “I only smile in the dark”. That suits me! 

But really,I was beginning to think that it was just me who thought people were a pain in the ass…but lately I have had discussions with others at work and on phone with those who I speak to on a regular basis who are in the funeral business or similar. And this week has proven that people are nuts! 

We have a family that everyone in the family is arguing. All the while poor dad, brother, uncle, grandpa is just laying in the prep room! One person is saying this about this person and that person is saying that about this person! Can you all just shut up about yourselves for ONE minute and think of the person who just died!?! Oh and of course while we are trying to call you to try to find out when you want to come in for arrangement’s, don’t answer your phones, just show up whenever you feel like it, because, you know,we are there at the funeral home 24/7….just waiting on you all to stop fighting and decide what you want to do with dear old dad…who has probably had to put up with you jackasses all his life and now in death! So today being Friday, we tried calling you twice today because we had a full day,  funeral this morning, a funeral this afternoon and an arrangement. So we didn’t want you to just show up in the midst of all of this and no one available to help you just like what happened yesterday!! They showed up, well the 3 that aren’t fighting with each other anyway, right as we were waiting for a family to come in for first viewing and just as there was a family trying to finish a pre arrangement. Now, this of course is not the first time this situation has happened but when you come in and are loud, on your cell phones and your cell phones ringing non stop all the while the wife and daughter of the man who us being laid out and they are just getting ready to walk in to see him for first time! Now ‘most’ people who have any common sense would shut the fuck up! Especially when coming into a funeral home and seeing other people in side! But, nooooooope! So as we tried to call them multiple times this morning, we received no answer or call back from anyone until 1pm….and why didn’t they come back until then…because that person just woke up! And no, they don’t work midnights and no they weren’t up late discussing poor dad because they said they did not speak to anyone yesterday about finalizing any arrangements! And that same person said yesterday that they were on a medical retirement! So that’s that! 

So the use of COMMON SENSE is pretty much null these days. Either people just don’t use it or just don’t have it! They also feel that they shold be treated with respect when they do not treat others with respect! Which brings me to a family we had about a month ago. Everyone in the family was very nice except or one daughter. Everything was questioned! “Why don’t my mom have ‘one of those cross things’ in her casket like all other funeral homes do?” Well…you mean a crucifix! And your mom is not catholic! Would you like one anyway? Now we have crosses and crucifixes…so i asked her which she wanted. She then had to consult with her 4 brothers and their spouses and then all agree. That is how it was during the arrangement!! The arrangement took 3 hours!! Three hours is 2 hours too long! Couldn’t decide on prayer cards or a prayer/verse, couldn’t decide on flowers…’oh I don’t think she liked red. Oh no!, she never was a fan of carnations. Roses…hmmm…I dunno, what do you all think? OK, so do we all agree? Yes? No? Are you sure? OK, so these then, right? Everyone sure, everyone agrees? Do you think she would like these more, what about all white? Do you think if we get anything with too much color it will clash with the casket? No? OK…these then”. Oh, but what if we change our mind, will we be able to change the order?” UGH! NO!! Once we order them that’s it! If you change your mind then you have to pay AGAIN!

Maybe I have just given up on most people…I just encounter way too many rude, inconsiderate, entitled people. Even my neighbors are rude and disrespectful. Who let’s their kids stay up until 2am and play in the street? Who sits outside until all hours of the night and early morning, drinking, yelling, carrying on….while their kids are running around screaming and playing (in the street) knowing that you have neighbors ALL around you! With their windows open! And I am not talking about a Friday or Saturday night, I’m talking Tuesday thru Thursday nights! Then when the police show up because another neighbor finally got pissed off enough, you start yelling more after the cop leaves because now you are pissed because someone called on you! COMMON SENSE!!!!! I wish people would use it!! We were given the gift to know right from wrong. I just wish more people would realize that they have that gift….and use it! Just like when a person passes away, the FAMILY decides whether or not they want an obit in the paper or if they would like us to post it on our website. So why then do people get pissy with us when they call the funeral home to find out visitation and service times because they did not see it in paper or posted on our website? I didn’t decide so and so wasn’t worthy of a death notice! To be honest, I could care less! Call up the family or tell them to their face when you see them what you told me…that you “have never heard of not having an obit!” Maybe they were hoping YOU wouldn’t find out! Or when you are calling to see if we have a person you know at our funeral home and we tell you NO, we do not. Do not say, “are you sure, so and so said that they are at your place today”. I am still gonna say NO we don’t…or maybe just because so and so said so, then SURE, oh yeah, I forgot we had a body just laying around here…!

Okay, I’m done….whew.
Have a good weekend everyone!

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8 Responses to “Life working at a funeral home-People!!”

  1. People act quite oddly when there is a death, and again when there is a wedding (surely you’ve heard that the mother of the bride is much like the monster from the deep lagoon– demanding, strident and impossible to placate.

    • Oh I know about the mother of the bride…but more so the mother in law…to be!! I just find it unjustified that because a loved has passed away that somehow it gives you the excuse to act badly. I’m not saying that all the families are this way but more so than not. Some families we have we barely notice they are there during visitation because they are so quiet. We have to go check on them! Also I find that those who act out are the ones seeking attention but really they are pushing everyone away and everyone just stays clear of them. I think with the daughter who couldn’t make up her mind and kept asking questions, she wasn’t acting like a bitch but just had “that tone” and everyone around her would just agree with her or do what she wanted so they wouldn’t have to hear or listen to her anymore. I found myself doing the same…although I wouldn’t have not tried to do what she asked since it is my job..

  2. AdminAsst Says:

    Believe me when I tell you, it’s not you. It is the way society is going. People seem to think that their loved one passing is an opportunity for them to get as much attention as they can get.

    To give you an example, this actually happened in my family, not at the funeral home where I work. An uncle of mine passed away this past summer. His daughter, rather than call the family first about her father’s passing, posted it on her Facebook page. Guess what? She got tons of sympathy posts. That’s what she was looking for, attention. The older members of the family (who don’t have FB accounts) were very put out by the fact that my cousin couldn’t be bothered to call them and tell them about her father’s death.

    I see so much bad behavior where I work it becomes very discouraging. There are times when I want to say “I’m sorry your loved one passed away, but that is not an excuse to act badly!” The public is just so darned demanding and are never satisfied despite the fact that we bend over backwards to make the celebration of the deceased life as meaningful as possible. It’s just never enough for many families. From the obit to the flowers, families are always finding fault.

    I should say, we do get some families who are wonderful and very appreciative of all that we do for them. We do get phone calls, after the service, thanking us for what a lovely job we did for them. Those families make it worthwhile to go to work in the morning. But unfortunately families like that are not common anymore.

    Like I said, I think it’s just the direction that society is moving in. With all of these tv shows about Bridezillas and Jersey Shore that glorify bad behavior, I guess people think that is the way they should act when confronted with a life even.

    • I have found that the younger generation feels entitled to whatever they want… they can’t understand when you tell them, NO, or we can’t, they cannot grasp the reason of why something THEY WANT cannot be done. And you are right that all these shows glorify that behavior and its sad..

  3. People are strange and grieving people are stranger. When my Step Father died his daughter came in and asked that her Mother (the ex-wife) be listed in the obit. I bit my tongue more than once but she did not win this one.

    It sounds like you need a break…….

    • Oh yeah, i know people can act oddly when they have lost someone…but i still think most people these days are stranger than ever. Funny thing is, i just had a break, was on vacation for a week…lol

  4. Good for you to let it all out 🙂 *virtual-hug* Sadly, working in any form of service industry, you will face people who are rude, arrogant, inconsiderate, irresponsible and, by the way, ‘common-sense’ these days is like a super hero – it doesn’t exists any more!!!! I just want you to know that you are not alone in those negative feelings of current humans. That’s why I always tell my friends – working with animals is probably much better than working humans! You keep letting it all out in here. I’m sure many of us are with you wholeheartedly! 🙂

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