Life at a funeral home……..errghhh


i just can’t get over some families. never will either, i suppose. white trash ghetto. i’m telling ya.

i wish i could have nice people all the time. the family i had the other day was sooooo awesome! they were so polite. hated to bother me. spoke proper english!!! (that’s always a plus). they were quite. they didn’t bring in a ton of food. they stayed in the chapel most of the time with the deceased. they left on time. didn’t dirty up the place. and thanked me over and over and over. they genuinely appreciated everything!

the family i had a few nights ago….well…totally different story. loud, dirty, disruptive, irritating, rude, foul-mouthed white trash. didn’t want to pay for the sign in book. asked me for more prayer cards every time i turned around. and come to find out the reason they kept running out is because all the kids they had kept taking them and writing on them or folding them up and playing with them. nice….  if i would have known that i would not have made anymore or told them that i would have to start charging them if they wanted anymore. which technically i am supposed to do anyway, but usually don’t. then they wanted to know why we charge extra for the crucifix/cross if the family wants one to display in the casket. well, it is considered merchandise………so we charge for it! so they asked if they could “borrow” one. … okay, so i let them borrow one to display in the casket and wrote a note on the file that we are to remove and keep the cross that the family did not purchase one. well, what do ya think happened after the family got home and realized that there was no cross in their bag? yep, they called and started complaining that we left the cross in the casket and they wanted to keep it now they will not have it to remember the deceased by. so, i so kindly explained to them that they did not purchase the cross, they borrowed it from us. they were more than welcome to come back to the funeral home and pay me $40 to buy one. they said that was ridiculous and that they just cannot believe that we would do something like that to a grieving family! whatever…………………….

on to the co-worker from hell. over react. all the time. oh you are always so freakin busy! funny how every time you are there you are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo busy! so much to do. well, if you would just focus and get your shit done, then you wouldn’t have that problem! WOULD YA?!?! i have explained to you dozens upon dozens of times how to do certain things. one in particular. i wrote down STEP BY STEP instructions for you! yet you still cannot get it right! i went over it with you! i came in on my day off just to show you how! and we used my instructions. i leave and you have to one and you fuck it up! when i was showing you how to do it, of course you were acting like you knew how. anything and everything i try to explain to you goes in one ear and right out the other. you are always preoccupied. always seems like what anyone tells you, you are too good to listen to them and that my dear is why you screw shit up….all the time. quit focusing on things that are not of immediate importance and figure out what needs to be done asap! after the couple of years that you have been there, you would think you would have gotten it by now. i don’t see why the ‘boss’ does not see this. why everyone else does. it’s enough to drive me freaking crazy. am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow and fixing your mistakes…once again. 

for those of you who want to be buried or are going to have to plan a funeral for a loved one and will have a burial. PLEASE remember that there are cemetery charges. they are NOT funeral home charges. we will accept a check on the behalf of the cemetery and give that check to the cemetery the day of the funeral OR you can make the check out to the funeral home and we will write a check to the cemetery, or you can just take the check to the cemetery. which ever you prefer. but you will need to pay them one way or another! i know that it is hard when someone passes away and you are faced with all the expenses, but really, it is not our fault that you have to pay the cemetery fees. these are NOT our fees, we have nothing to do with it! most of the time the families are taken aback by the cost of the opening and closing fees. i don’t think that cemeteries do a good enough job of explaining to people when they purchase their plots that at time of death more fees will be due. which of course is the opening and closing fees. most people who sit across from me say “oh, no all the charges are paid at the cemetery, so and so took care of all of that when they purchased their plots”. so, then what happens. i call the cemetery to call in the service and to DOUBLE check that all fees are paid and 9 out of 10 times, sure enough the opening and closing is due! and it isn’t cheap either! usually over $900.00 and anywhere up to $1400.00. that is a lot of cash to pay out when it is not expected. hell it is a lot to pay out if it is even expected! i think it is outrageous myself. also usually cemeteries will NOT accept an insurance assignment either. a lot of families think that they can use their life insurance policy to pay for all the cemetery fees just like at the funeral home. i have only run into one cemetery that accepts an insurance assignment. so, be prepared that you will have to pay that! if you don’t, then there isn’t a funeral.

if you ever plan on burying an urn you will have to pay for opening and closing as well, it is just not as expensive as a regular burial. usually around $300 to $700. and yes, you will require a vault, in most cases. there are certain urns that double as a vault, it usually depends on the cemetery. so if you plan on purchasing an urn that you plan on burying you should double-check to make sure if you need a vault or not because that is an extra charge as well. the urn vaults usually run anywhere between $370 and $800.00. 

okay, one more thing. if you know someone who passes away and the family is accepting donations, please be very careful of where and who you donate your money to! if you plan to donate any money, my suggestions is to give it to the funeral home! if you are writing a check find out which funeral home the family is going to use and write the check to the funeral home. if there is money that was not used toward the funeral costs the funeral home will refund the money to the family after all is said and done. the funeral home can also forward any extra money to the cemetery to cover those costs on behalf of the family. i have seen too many times that donations are being accepted at such and such bank that the account was set up “by the family” and usually the funeral home NEVER sees that money! and the family cries that they can’t afford anything! just be careful! make sure that if you donate to a bank that the bank has set it up so the money goes into an account under the banks name or an organization that set it up. also, anyone under the age of 12, well, the services, the casket (if under a certain size) embalming is usually donated by the funeral home. the only thing the family will be charged for is the cost of any merchandise they want, sign in book, prayer cards, cross/crucifix, urn, etc…..so basically there isn’t going to be a huge bill from the funeral home.

so anyway……until next time.

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4 Responses to “Life at a funeral home……..errghhh”

  1. olive grenade Says:

    hearing about the useless employee kinda reminds me of this:

    it’s not long, only a minute and 15 seconds.
    you, of course, would be ray liotta and your dumbass employee would be seth rogen….

    • thefuneralbizz Says:

      ha ha ha…..that was great! never saw that movie, now i want to!

      and you know what, she would sit there and and just be like “me? i don’t do my job right? not me! i do everything right!” errghhhh! makes me mad just thinking about her! she likes to complain to everyone else, other co-workers, about how much she works, how many hours she put in this week, that the boss expects too much of her, etc… but at the same time thinks that kissing the boss’ ass will get her further……which it hasn’t yet!!

  2. i just want to say that i love your blog. i read through your archives. you put up with way too much shit, but i love that you come here to vent. learning so much, keep up the good work!

    • thefuneralbizz Says:

      thank you SO much for reading my blog………and liking it!! i am glad that you and the others that follow me understand that i blog to vent! please keep reading and enjoy! and again, thank you!!!

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