don’t argue with me!

Do people really think arguing is going to get them anywhere? this isn’t a pawn shop! this is a funeral home! it costs what is costs! you choose certain hours you get those hours! we have other families, not just yours. when i tell you how many people it will seat, that is how many people it will seat! i know i have said this before, but really, i cannot make the place bigger just because you are upset that not ‘everyone’ has someplace to sit! the family came in 4 times! yes, 4 times and all 4 times asked how many do i think we can seat, I said ‘maybe’ 100. they came in 4 times to look around! yet, day of service, you were upset because everyone did not have a seat! well…..since there was probably 400 of you, i guess NOT! we told you that if you thought it was going to be that large, then you should consider having it at your church. but you insisted you wanted it at the funeral home!

on to the next…..we charge a certain price for embalming. and that’s that! if you feel it is too much, go elsewhere or have a direct cremation. really don’t know what else to tell you. when you call me and ask me about it and get snippy with me, NOTHING will happen because i do not have the authority to give you a price break. so, when i ask if you would like to speak to the director and then you back off…..but agree to speak to him, then you aren’t so pissy with him. so treat me like shit, the one who can’t do anything for you and i tell my boss that you are being rude to me, then get on the phone with him and aren’t a bitch. NICE!

again, we are NOT a banquet facility nor are we a day care! we do not have an oven. we do not have any place to keep your food warm or cold for that matter. what do you think this is? i do not have a special room for kids to play! if you have to bring your kids, then don’t stay long. get  a babysitter or DON’T come! and if you do bring them, don’t let them run all over the place or  put your 12-year-old cousin, niece or whatever up to watching them. i have work to do! i have to answer the phone. i have to deal with other families, so your kids who are running all over the funeral home are disturbing me and the other family/families. it is rude! i am sure you would not have appreciated it when you were there making your funeral arrangements! so why should other people? also, when you see that i am in my office on the phone and working on the computer don’t bring your brat by my office door and try to say cute shit like “yep, she is typing, just like gamma does, huh? and then stand there like i am suppose to turn around and be nice! i am fucking busy! go away!

if you bring us an insurance policy and want us to do an assignment we will of course but the beneficiary IS GOING to have to sign paperwork! no way around it! so….when the beneficiary is an older person and i come to them during visitation and ask them to sign some paperwork, i do not appreciate people saying “Whoa, wait a minute what is this that you are having her sign?” LOOK, buddy………….. sooooo, i have to explain to that person, who wasn’t even fucking involved in making the arrangements that i have to have the BENEFICIARY sign the necessary paperwork for the insurance company!  and YES, it does require a social security number (most of the time). so buzz off! 

it has been a BAD week at work, as you can tell. and i don’t give a fuck who thinks i am being a BITCH! because I AM!


5 Responses to “don’t argue with me!”

  1. That bit you wrote about the woman commenting to her kid that you are typing just like gamma does….oh boy I would have loved to have seen the expression on your face. You would have been dangerous, girl!! Isn’t it a joy when people comment about you in front of you to someone like you’re part of the furniture. Good grief, where do people get off.

  2. parlor gal Says:

    Not sure how you handle this in your location but why do some people ( not even the family) think they need to SIT for an entire viewing??? Of course we make sure the family has enough chairs and will place SOME extra chairs out, especially for the very old but this is NOT a funeral SERVICE!!! Please pay your respects,chat for a bit then LEAVE. Also if the viewing is VERY VERY crowded there is NO way we can place more chairs because that will leave NO room for folks to move around!!!!! This is a VIEWING not the funeral service!!! NO, you do not get more chairs when a prayer service has begun—these are pretty short anyway but will cause a distraction during prayers. Viewings are just what they are–viewings!!! ( experience tells me people would not MOVE for us anyway just as you stated when bringing flowers in the room ) Great to vent !!!!!

    • thefuneralbizz Says:

      I don’t know why………..and I think that is why people always feel it necessary to bring in all that food! You are right, it is just that a “viewing”. I think some people honestly just enjoy going to funerals and sitting around. Weird! Especially older people, I think they don’t see their friends unless they go to a funeral. Although, it seems like a family reunion more and more these days instead of a funeral! As far as chairs go, if the family is having a service in the evening (rosary, vigil, etc) we will try to make sure that there are enough chairs in the room for everyone, but once the prayers beging if more people arrive, then usually we do not go back in to put another chair in for them. It causes to much commotion to do so. I have done it before, where I have taken and extra chair in for someone and they ended up standing anyway, it’s frustrating. During the actual Funeral Service though, we try to make sure everyone has a seat, but of course we don’t just have an endless amount of chairs! what we have is what we have and if there are more people than chairs available, then they stand, nothing we can do about it. That is why I feel if you KNOW you will be having a large service (Baptist and Jehova Witness’ are usually BIG services) then they really should think about having their service at their Church or place of worship. And at the time of the funeral service, of course we try to keep an eye on the seating, so when we see that things are filling up we will go grab the chairs and start setting more up, that is when we get the “eye” from people. I am not sure why they feel it necessary to give us dirty looks as we are only trying to be helpful and give them someplace to sit! I can walk by the same person 20 times and say excuse me 20 times! Don’t they realize the first 3 or 4 times that they should MOVE? I also love when there are younger persons there (men) and they watch me and another employee carry all these chairs without offering to help. Literally they stand there and watch us, I can see their heads moving as we walk by time after time. I have had older people actually offer to help me, but a young person…….NEVER! And you are right, the rosary or vigil are usually short, no more than a half an hour, I also find that many people will leave before then anyway. They don’t want to stay for it. Flowers are another thing, as you mentioned, just like the chairs, no one will move. This is tricky as we must be in front of the room to set these flowers up. I have to carry the flower arrangement and usually a flower stand, so my hands are full and these flowers are not by any means light, they are usually heavy and awkaward. I notice as soon as anyone sees me, usually a family member, they will run up behind me, not giving me a chance to set the flower up and wait right behind my back so they can see who it is from. GIVE ME A MINUTE! Geeeezzzz. And as I turn around, I bump right into them! It is like I am invisible to them. I have also found lately that “friends” of the family are becoming more “involved” in the families business. For instance, when I have a family having a visitation and service all on the same day, maybe it is going to be a cremation, I have a bag for the family. In this bag will be a copy of the paid bill, I will put their register book in it any left over prayer cards, the death certificates, if they are ready, any memorial envelopes from friends that were left for the family, etc….. I will usually grab the bag and wait in the hall for the family to exit the chapel and give it to them, well, lately I get these busy bodies who “think” they are doing the family a favor by telling me “I can take that for the family, I am the best friend of so and so, she/he won’t mind”. NO, but I do! I am not going to give this to just anyone. Ughhhh! I better stop ranting.

  3. What I hate is when a service is crowded, and a bunch of people come in 15 minutes late, then stand in the chapel door, even after I offer them a seat in an adjacent room. I also hate when visitors bring their own flowers to the service. Instead of being able to work it in with the other flowers and make a nice display, I have to hurry up and shove it in wherever I can find room and get out of the way of the visitation.

    • thefuneralbizz Says:

      couldn’t agree with you more! we have two chapels that are right next to each other, we leave the divider opened at all times incase the family in the large chapel needs to spill over into the smaller one. when people show up late and there is only seating in the small we will say “there is extra seating this way” and of course motion for them to follow, but instead they just say “no” and stand in the door way! i also get people who bring in flowers, I have also noticed recently that even flower shops will do this, they bring them to my office and tell me “here, these are delivery for such and such” and I am like,,,,well why didn’t you put them in the flower room?!?! have you had people standing behind you or hurry and walk up as soon as you bring a flower arrangement into the room, they hover over you so they can see who they are from? that drives me nuts! let me get the flowers set up and walk away before you try to stick your head in to see who they are from!

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