life at a funeral home……what have i said?

what have i said in the past about walking in without an appointment? DON’T!

received a call from an out-of-state funeral home. they started asking questions about a “family” and were trying to get our charges for certain things. i was confused because i have not heard of this family. so, i stopped him and said, “i’m sorry, but i do not have any family here by that name, nor do i have any scheduled arrangements for this family”. this man says “oh, i am shocked they have not called you or made arrangements yet, i have been speaking to them for the last few days and they gave me your name and number and said that you would be handling all the services for mr. so and so.” so, of course, i am like, ‘uh, nope, have not heard from anyone by that name. so he said he would call me back in a few to find out if i have heard anything and also left his number. so of course i am sitting there thinking……i know this family is going to show up….without calling. do you think i have a director here to help them? NO! will one be here at all today? NO! why? because we have 2 other funeral services going on today. so they are busy. at least in the morning they are. afternoon is not, but i am sure they are not going to show up here if nothing is going on. so as i am sitting there thinking about this, and thinking to myself that this family is just going to show up…..low and behold someone is knocking on the door! yay! and guess who it is? all 8 of them! again, yay! so, what do i have to tell them? yep, you guessed it. there is no one here to help you. and guess what? all 8 of them are PISSED! and they keep going on about how the holiday weekend is coming up and they need to get this taken care of! they need to get dad here NOW, he is in Kansas and they need him here! before Sunday. he passed away this past Sunday and he is still there and they want him here! WHAT? seriously? he died this past sunday and your just NOW walking in and telling me this? and being a bunch of assholes at the same time! so how do you think that your time is more valuable than ours? you are the ones that waited 3 days and then expect us to jump thru hoops for you now? i wanted to say “kiss my ass”, but of course i didn’t and wouldn’t. then the lady in charge of this family, i guess that is what you can call her, says ‘well, we told the funeral home in Kansas to call you and get all the charges together so we wouldn’t have to go thru all of this BS when we came in for arrangements”. really? so i said “well, they just called me this morning, but of course, i had no idea what they were talking about, i had never heard from you or anyone else concerning your father, there was no appt. made, no nothing, so of course i cannot make arrangements to do a removal, etc, without knowing who you are first.” she says “that is why i had them call you, do you not understand what i am saying? so are you telling me my father still has to wait until “you people” get your shit straight”. i calmly say “yes, ma’am, that is what i am telling you. i cannot make arrangements for a family that i do not know. you did not call me. i have no idea who you are or were, i had no idea what was going on, and anyway, they just called me an hour ago!, but regardless, i have no one here right now to help you with anything, we had 2 funeral services this morning, so my director is with another family right now and will not be back for a while. I am still going to have to have you come back. what i will do is get some information from you while you are here, and set up dates with you, but as far as the cost, that is going to have to wait until later.” i have never seen someone roll there eyes so much in my life! now, i was NOT being sarcastic with her, i was being a nice as could be while telling her how things are “going” to be. Now, i am thinking that they want to get this done and over with asap, right? wrong.  after i got the basic info from them and then proceeded to ask them what they were looking at as far as visitation, burial or cremation, etc…  she says “well, i need to know what you have available, i can’t just “tell” you what day without knowing the funeral homes schedule.” i said, “yes you can, we have nothing at all right now, so if you tell me that you want something on Monday, then it’s yours, if you wait and don’t give me a day and someone else does come in to make arrangements, well, then they “will” get first pick”. So, i am thinking they want this so soon, then she says not until the end of next week! what? she says that no one is helping them out (now remember there are 8 of them all together sitting in the office!) how many people do you need to help? 8 isn’t enough!?! also, that she needs time to rest and take care of herself because she is just so stressed out. oh joy! hopefully i have the day off that they choose, because after all fo this, they still have not picked a day yet! you know what’s going to happen, right? we are going to get another family and this pain in the ass family is going to pick the same day, and then we are going to have to tell them that another family has that day already. it isn’t like we can’t have more than one family instate, but most of the families we get like to have the funeral home to themselves. our funeral home isn’t real big, but enough room for two good-sized families. oh well……….

i also find it odd that people will leave their loves ones cremated remains at our funeral home. some people just straight out tell us that they will not be picking them up, they don’t want them. i think some people think it is weird to have them. i don’t know why. we have some cremains from back in the 80’s still. we are allowed to discard of them after a certain amount of time, but they aren’t hurting anything by sitting in the closet right now. but i have a few recent ones and i just don’t get it.


2 Responses to “life at a funeral home……what have i said?”

  1. olive grenade Says:

    why would you get somebody cremated if you’re not going to bother to pick up the remains? that’s just disrespectful for the deceased.
    most people i know that had someone cremated took the ashes and spread them somewhere important to the deceased. my grandparents retired and moved to southern florida (“god’s waiting room”). anyway, when he passed, we took his remains and spread some of them in the gulf of mexico, some on the beach near their house, and some in the flower bed in their front yard.

    why they would just leave someone they “love”, forgotten about in a closet in a business to collect dust (no pun intended?)…. well… i just don’t get it.

    • thefuneralbizz Says:

      i agree, i cannot understand why people would leave their loves ones cremated remains either, but again, i have had several families ask me/us “so, what do you do with the ashes once you get them back?” and our response it always “we do not keep them, it is the families responsibility to pick them up from the funeral home once the are delivered to us”. and time and time we have heard “oh, i don’t want them”. and sure enough, they never come to pick them up. we are only required to keep them for so long but we tend to hold on to them longer…just incase.

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