Funeral Home…….stuff?

so, i was just remembering a something from a while ago, maybe about a year or so ago that happened one day. i was at work and we had a family in making arrangements. someone was knocking on the door, so i got up to answer it, as i was walking to the door i could see that it was a man, probably in his 50’s or 60’s, he looked a little ragged, maybe homeless. i opened the door for him and asked him how could i help him. his response was “i’m dying”. well… what do you say back to someone who say’s that to you? so, i said, “oh, well, i am so sorry to hear that, is there something i can do for you?” he said that he was dying and that we are a funeral home so, that is why he was there! now, obviously this man had some mental issues. i asked him what he wanted me to do for him and if he wasn’t feeling well shouldn’t he be going to a hospital instead of a funeral home? he said that he had just left the hospital and walked here. now, you have to understand that we get a lot of ‘wanderers ‘ in our area and aren’t surprised when people show up asking “odd” requests of us. so, i wasn’t sure exactly how to handle this man, and he seemed to be getting somewhat agitated with me. he wasn’t talking too clearly so i really could not understand him. so i went and got the director who was there helping the family we had….and said so sorry to interrupt but if he could come here for a minute. i explained and he went to see if he could go figure out what this guy wanted. well, he came back in about 5 minutes later and said that he was gone, but to not answer the door if he happened to show up again. he offered to call an ambulance for him if he wasn’t feeling well, but the man said that he just wanted to stay at the funeral home until he died. well, obviously my boss said he couldn’t let him stay. the man said a few choice words then walked out. then about a year ago, i had another man come into the funeral home. this man was actually from a family that we had at the funeral home, i believe it was his mother who passed away. anyway, he showed up, probably about 4 months after his mother passed. one of the directors answered the door when he showed up, i should say that this man spoke broken english, so it was hard to understand him. so of course my director, who was having problems understanding him came and got me and said that there is a man who needs your help. me, not knowing what was going on, went into the lobby to see who was there and then figured out why my boss came and got me. he couldn’t understand him, so he didn’t want to have to deal with it! nice, huh? so, i asked him how i could help him and he starts asking me if i believed in ghosts and spirits and hauntings. i told him that i did not, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t occur, that each person has their own beliefs. he told me that the house in which his mother passed in is now a rental house, him being the land lord. well, apparently the people who rented this house insists that it is haunted by this man’s mother. so he came in to see us, since we took care of her to see if her spirit is in that home, since she died in that home. what do you say to someone when they ask you that!?! i just told him that i didn’t believe it, but some people do and if he believes it, it is okay to do so. so anyway… just two things that i remembered recently. i was just thinking about people and how strange they can be. i have people that show up to ask for money. if they can use the restroom. if i have a pair of shoes they can borrow….yes, you read correctly, i had a man show up asking for shoes! i have people ask me if our funeral home is haunted. i have people show up to ask for coffee. we have one window in the front of the building and it is about eye level. so when some people walk down the street they always stare in the window, some will actually stop and try to peek in, i guess they think they are going to see some dead person, i don’t know….

but, anyway. when the funeral home does an insurance assignment we will call the insurance company to get all the information. sometimes we really don’t know who the beneficiary is until we call, sometimes this will happen after the family has left after making arrangements and when they come in for viewing we will have the beneficiary sign the proper paper work. so, each beneficiary needs to sign a claim form and the assignment form. this sounds pretty cut and dry, right? well, i guess for some it is not. what happens it, the insurance company is going to pay the funeral home the amount due to us which is the cost of the funeral. whatever money is left over will be sent to each beneficiary. so, the life insurance policy that the deceased had is paying the funeral bill. just because you are a beneficiary doesn’t mean YOU are paying the funeral bill. this was never YOUR money! if you wanted this money for yourself, then you must pay the funeral bill up front out of your pocket then do the insurance yourself and you will receive all the money, it will still be split between the beneficiaries, but it will ALL be paid out to the family. so, no, you aren’t personally paying for this funeral! is that hard to understand? why would you think that the money was ever yours to begin  with? you didn’t earn it! it was a policy the deceased took out so YOU didn’t have to pay when they passed! and yes, i am talking about a family of mine. argued with me up one side and down the other! i just finally said “look, this is not “your” money. YOU did not pay on the policy, did you? (the answer was NO). then this is not YOUR money, it is an insurance policy and they are paying for the funeral. your so and so took this policy out in 1980 ! and they more than likely took it out just for this! if they had not had a life insurance policy then YOU would be responsible for paying the $10,000.00 funeral bill! so how do you figure this is YOUR money? what is left over will be yours, and your lucky that you are even getting any back, sometimes the policy is not that large and some families get nothing back!, some families have to pay on top of it because the policy is not worth so much! but….they still sat there shaking their heads.  whatever……….. i so do NOT want to go to work anymore! i like my job, really, i do, but people are just getting bitchier by the day! half the people i deal with don’t listen to a word you tell them! especially when it comes to visitations times. i know i bitch about this a lot, but it is so true. when you make your arrangements we always ask if you want a family hour! always! if you do not choose to have a family hour, then you don’t get one! what is so hard to understand about that? i hate getting a phone call the day before or the morning of the viewing from the family asking when are they suppose to come in. you come in at the time you scheduled! not a half hour early, not 15 minutes not 5 minutes!  you come at the time you picked! even if you want to come a day ahead of time, just to see the person, come for a few minutes. BUT, you have to schedule this! and when your service is over, leave! if you don’t leave, then all the people who came tend to stick around too! i don’t know what is so hard about keeping the hours alloted for you! we even post the persons name and the hours of visitation and the funeral day and time outside the door of the building !!! then when you walk in the building, there are signs there too! and then inside the chapel there are signs! how can we make this more clear? especially when the service is ending and the director goes up front to thank everyone for attending and to please pass by the casket he actually says “please pass by the casket one more time and exit the doors and then to your vehicles as this concludes today’s services for so and so”!!!!!!   

oh and one more thing. smokers, do not leave all your cigarette butts laying in our landscaping! i don’t have a problem with smokers, smoke all you want, i could care less. but if you go outside the building please just don’t throw them in the flower beds! it looks trashy! it makes our building look trashy. there is an ashtray right there!!!!!!!!


3 Responses to “Funeral Home…….stuff?”

  1. olive grenade Says:

    bahahahaha! i wonder what happened with the “dying” guy.
    and i guess Funeral Home = Goodwill in whatever state you’re in, if people show up askin for shoes.

    i’m sure it’s already been thought of, but there should be a way to give people printouts of exactly what kind of services they ordered. seems like it might eliminate some complaints, then you could be like “well, i gave you the printout, it’s all broken down on there.”

    then again, they’d probably just throw it away :/

    • thefuneralbizz Says:

      i think that is just ‘that’…they feel that since we are a funeral home then we “have” to be sympathetic, right? We do have a print out, we have what is called a General Price List that everyone gets when then make funeral arrangements and or pre-plans their funeral. We are also required by law to give out GPL to anyone who may come to the funeral home and ask. we also have our discounted price sheet, which explains some less expensive/alternitive services. We also type a itemized statement that is given to the family, usually on day of their services. It is put in the family bag, which every family gets. They usually come back to the funeral home after the funeral or luncheon and that is when they receive the family bag and it usually contains the death certificates any donation envelopes that were left for the family, any items belonging to the family, such as photos they brought in, jewelry they requested be removed from the deceased, etc.

      • olive grenade Says:

        sure, you kinda do have to be sympathetic… to the families of the deceased! i dunno, i’ve been homeless a few times and if you go to a thrift store or salvation army and tell them you’re homeless and don’t have any freakin shoes, 99% of the time they’ll help you out and throw you some free kicks.
        (although, in the defense of all homeless MEN out there, it’s a lot easier being homeless, panhandling, and/or getting free stuff if you’re a girl….)

        as far as the price sheets i’m not sure if your customers are sooooooo distraught about losing a loved one that they don’t pay attention, or if they just wanna bitch about money (more than likely they just wanna bitch)…..
        i mentioned that water race i worked in…. it’s $3 a player, and you need 2 players to start (being that it’s not a race if there’s only one player – still some people wanna argue about that). anyway, two players gets you a crappy small prize. if two players race twice, or if you get 4 or more players (or 5, depending on the game rules), you can “trade up” and get choice (anything in the game)…. so that’s $12-$15 for a toy that, in a toy store, would cost about 5 bucks. you can imagine all the crap i have to hear for “sellin ‘dollar store’ toys for fifteen bucks after all the money for wristbands for my 18 kids and it’s 5 bucks for a hot dog and we’re in a recession and blah blah blah”
        ….like i personally make up the prices. to which i explain that if i made up the prices, that would mean i own the game. if i owned the game, do they really think i’d be standing here like an idiot in the heat and humidity trying to get people to play my game? or do they think i’d hire some girl (aka me) to do it for me while i sit in my giant house trailer in the AC, drinking lemonade and watching satellite TV?

        some people you can never make happy (like that family you were talking about earlier that only paid, like, 75 bucks for their kid’s funeral – when they could’ve gotten it for FREE if they didn’t order all the extra shit…. and then called to complain)

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