working at a funeral home…….sometimes BLOWS!

yeah, it blows! especially when 3 people are telling you that they need 3 separate things done. you are working with a family at the same time, answering the phone and trying to get your own work done. what i can’t understand is when i am on the phone and someone sees that i am on the phone WHY do you insist on talking to me? i don’t know how many times i have been on the phone with someone and someone walks up and starts telling me that they need something done. are you kidding me!?!? i hate that! it’s rude!

so….about the white trash funeral that i wrote about last time, the 19 yr old who over dosed. well, the visitation and service went okay. their were alot of people there, not very nice people but most kept their mouths shut, some did not. apparently the brother wanted to say a few words after the Minister was done. so here is the brother speaking with the Minister about how the service is going to go, and he says that he would like to step up afterward and tell the people who are there that shouldn’t be there and that he does not care for that it is their fault that his brother is laying in the casket dead and that he will never see his brother again because of those people and they are filthy drug addicts who all deserve to be dead! how wonderful, don’t you think? COME ON! apparently the brother is also a filthy ignorant person to even want to get up and say that in a room full of people at a FUNERAL! well, thank God the Minister said that he did not feel it was appropriate to say those things, he said it is not the place or the time to bring those things up this is a funeral and that they should all just be there for each other, that he did not have to like anyone that was there, but out of respect for his deceased brother. the Minister also stated that he himself is a recovering addict and that it would not make a difference one way or another and to just let it alone. what is wrong with people. uneducated ignorant trash, that is exactly what these people are. i don’t care who is reading my blog and thinks that i am a mean heartless bitch anymore. I really cannot stand people anymore. i know i have said before that it is just not work that i run into these rude selfish people, even in the stores when i go shopping, driving, anywhere. it just seems that no one gives a shit about anyone else anymore. i know that i sound like one of those people. BUT, here is the difference. when i am at work, i am polite, helpful, sympathetic, always try to smile at people and say hello. when they ask me for things, i do them with a smile on my face, even if i can’t stand the person or the request is idiotic. when i am out shopping i move out-of-the-way for people, say excuse me and am just all around polite. when i am driving, i am the same way. although i may bitch and yell to myself in my car about some dumb fuck who is driving like a moron, but if i have someone in the car with me, well, i keep my mouth shut. I just don’t get the people out there who are just rude, walk into you, get in your way without saying excuse me, talk on their cell phones while waiting in line when there are signs ALL over the place saying NOT to use your cell phone. but all of this carries over into work. and i have to deal with these same ignorant rude people while at the funeral home. is it so much to ask of someone to just be polite? think before you speak? anyway……so after visitation was getting started, there was only an hour of visitation, this woman walks into the funeral home, apparently she is the aunt of the deceased, walks into the chapel and yells, yes yells! and she says to everyone in the room that they need to GET OUT of the room and let her family have private time with the deceased. so some people were a little confused, as well as i was, so they sat there for a minute and she starts yelling to get the fuck out of here NOW ,or does she have to grab each and every one of them by there arms and remove them herself! unbelievable! so everyone got up and had to stand around the hall way, go outside, or in the lounge and the aunt slammed the chapel doors shut! that pissed me off! she slams OUR doors shut, this is NOT your home! this is not your building! people tend to feel that they can just do whatever the fuck they feel like while at a funeral home. i guess they figure they are paying to use the facility then they can do as they wish. well, you can’t. so after while she opens the doors. after that all went pretty smooth and thank God we do not have to see these ‘people’ again, i hope!  ok, so then we have another visitation, large family, gee, can you guess what they brought in? yep, FOOD, food galore! looked like a party store in my lounge. this woman actually baked a freaking ham and brought it in. then made ham sandwiches for everyone! cookies, dips, crackers, fruit, muffins, donuts, coffee, pop, water, juice, brought in her own LARGE coffee carafe’s. even brought in table cloths for extra tables because apparently she thought that it looked tacky just having her food sit on top of a white card table. tacky is bringing in all that food and deciding to have a feast at a funeral home! i think it is gross! 

when picking up your flowers from the funeral home try to do so before the funeral home is getting ready to close. when i tell you we close at 6pm I mean that i am locking that door and walking to my car at 6pm. it doesn’t mean that you i can arrive at 6pm for ANYTHING! then you and your family bickering about who gets what floral arrangement or should uncle bob get this one and you’ll take that one and OH, aunt sue would like this one, so grab that and then tell grandpa to come here and get this one for grandma and OH, look, so and so sent this one, i think i will keep it, i should since i know them and no one else does and so on and so on and so on………..just get your freaking flowers and beat it! i have better shit to do than stand there and wait on you to decide who gets what! just freaking take them and do it at home!

I also think I may have written this before as well, but just incase………….etiquette on sending out thank you’s after a funeral. you DO NOT have to send them to everyone! you only have to send them to people who sent flowers or made a monetary donation or maybe sent a gift basket or other gift, some people now days, will send wind chimes instead of flowers, or maybe they bought a cross in place of flowers, send a fruit basket, etc…. or to those who may have not sent anything to the funeral home but sent something to your home, maybe they made some food for you to eat at home or helped you out while you were at the funeral home, maybe they let your dog out for you while you were gone all day or watered your plants, etc… you only need to send those people an acknowledgment card. and only if you want to! it is not necessary to send one to every person who signed the register book! seriously! i have so many people who say they have to get all these boxes of thank you cards (they usually cost about $8 per box of 25 some contain 35). then they end up coming back to buy more because they run out and i am always telling people what the proper etiqutte is to only send to those i have listed above. of course alot of people will disagree but that is etiquette!

I also want to mention markers. or headstones as some call them. you can purchase them thru the funeral home. at least at our funeral home. i am not sure if ALL funeral homes sell them. or you can purchase them thru the cemetery or an independent monument/marker company. our prices will be different from the cemetery or other company. one of the problems that i encounter is that people don’t understand that a marker will not be installed until after the thaw in the spring. they are only installed during certain months. people will argue with me up on side and down the other. WE DO NOT install them, the cemetery installs them! take it up with the cemetery. I am only the messenger here. also, their will be other charges, not just the cost of the marker, but the installation fee. that fee is the fee of the cemetery. you must find out from the cemetery what that fee is. yes, i will call and find out for you, but it is in your best interest to also call and find out for yourself, just incase that fee changes. also, not all cemeteries will allow just any kind of marker. so you have to follow there rules, they are not our rules, i could care less what the cemetery requires.



2 Responses to “working at a funeral home…….sometimes BLOWS!”

  1. My family is planning a funeral and your blog has truly shed some light on what people at the funeral home go through. My God! The insane-ness!

    • thefuneralbizz Says:

      I’m sorry to hear that you are currently planning a funeral for someone… My intentions really are to vent and to give some tips in the process. I hope that the funeral home you are working with makes everything as painless as possible for you and your family.

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