Thank you

Thanks to those of you who have commented on my blog.

I sometimes think that people are taking it the wrong way, which I can see why they would. 

I just want and need a place to vent my frustrations, as I have said before, with every job comes frustration, there is always “something” or “someone” who just pisses you off or annoys the hell outta you!

Just to add as well, where I work, we have the utmost respect for the deceased. I often get questioned by friends and acquaintances if we ever make fun of the deceased, which for one I cannot even believe that they would ask me that, but anyway, “making fun of” the deceased really has never entered my mind. There is no reason to disrespect them.  The “only” thing that may come from anyones mouth that works with me would be something like “Mr. so and so or Mrs. so and so is a large man/women, huh?” And that is only because we move the caskets with them in them. When we transfer them to the funeral home chapel or from the funeral home to the hearse, etc.  And it is never meant to be disrespectful.  Other times if we are discussing the deceased it may be because the cosmetics may need to be touched up, and someone will say “Mr or Mrs. so and so’s hands look pretty bad, could you touch them up?” or “there are a few bruises coming through the makeup, could you touch them up before the family arrives?”.

But, anyway, it is the people who visit the deceased, the family and friends who are the real pains in the asses, and again, NOT ALL of them are pains. It just feels good to let loose and really rant on what pisses me off. Since it is a touchy subject, not everyone understands my bitching. But thank you to those of you who do.

I have been off for the holiday, so it is back to work tomorrow……yay



18 Responses to “Thank you”

  1. Well, I know what part of the country you AREN’T working in!!! Where I live, food is NORMALLY and REGULARLY brought to the home of the deceased/family, NOT to the funeral “parlor”. The ONLY reason FOOD is involved at ALL is because the deceased family members are arriving from all over the world…and they just might be hungry…and, CERTAINLY the Bereaved should be eating something! (and Lord knows, they dont feel like cooking in their “time of trial!”). The gifts of food from neighbors and friends of the deceased and the family are Gifts of Love…especially old Mrs. Sherman’s English Toffee, Aunt Betty’s home made cherry pie, and Mabel’s tuna casserole. None of it “fine dining”, but it helps keep the body going during those stressful days….

    I MAY BE from a state that is seen as “backward” (except when it comes to Presidential Caucus votes) BUT, We seem to have more respect for the dead (and the funeral home). We have only one funeral home in town…it has been in business since at LEAST the late 1800s…and no one would EVER think of going anywhere else in their “time of need”…the current owner went to elementary and high school with my dad (and all HIS brothers and sisters), and HIS DAD went to school with my Grampa! Theirs is a family business, and, much like “6 Feet Under”, the family LIVES there…not ONE mourner would DREAM of spitting candy on the carpet in the Parlor, or dumping their stinking ashtray in the parking lot. Besides, with only 700 +/- residents in town, SOMEONE is BOUND to see you DOING so!!! there is a lot to be said for “SHAME” in a small town!

    I can’t tell you how any times I’ve been in that Parlor…more than I wanted to be, certainly…but, each time, I was greeted as an old friend by someone who knew every sadness our family endured…an uncle electrocuted in the rain, two VERY young cousins crushed by farm equipment, my mother passing with brain hemmorage and the more “normal” passing of elderly great-grandparents, grandparents, aunts and uncles…and, the Triple Threat, the aftermath of an auto accident which claimed the lives of my 50 year old dad, 20 year old sister and 3 year old nephew, attended by folks from three counties and everyone in town…

    I cannot thank the folks there enough…one death is bad…three is unbelievably difficult…of course, none of the bodies looked “normal”!! Trauma inflicted at 60 MPH is not easily repaired…but I was thankful to everyone who helped me survive the ordeal…and the staff was beyond belief…

    I know it must be difficult dealing with such ungrateful folks as you have…but, I hope that you take comfort knowing that even YEARS after the event, your kind words, every small thing you did, is remembered and appreciated for decades afterward…

    One last thought…if the Director hadn’t asked Mrs. I’ve Got a Camera to stop taking photos, I would have helped adjust her dental work….(Mrs Camera was the grieving birth-mother who gave my sister up at birth, and had seen “her baby” only once in life. So, PLEASE, birth “parents” stay HOME! If you weren’t around for 20 years, the funeral isn’t the place to “display” your “grief”!)

  2. thats not too bad one or two in prep room just hope i get good ones ! i dont really want viewing , to go throw them bits but have childen that proberly want to view so cant really take that away from them either . i cant see why they cant leave dieppers on bodys so we all have our dignity in tact . jon

    • thefuneralbizz Says:

      they do dress you…and put undergarments on you. but just know that whoever is emblaming/dressing you is use to doing so. pretty much just as your doctors know and see patients ‘other parts’ we are the same.

      • yep i know that in most cases a nice job would be done would be same bad apples same in all jobs , i had opp few months back and pants left on , unless were unlucky berth and death are the only time we will be naked in front of strangers , how long does preparing a body take ?

      • thefuneralbizz Says:

        From washing the body, embalming, dressing, casketing, makeup and hair, I’d say a couple of hours. Some cases are harder, and may require more time.

      • ok thank you for info its quite a time then , have you ever done them before , do they wait for the clothing before starting ?

      • thefuneralbizz Says:

        your welcome. from start to finish, yes, it takes time. however all the steps are not usually done all at once. the embalmer may wash the body then embalm. wait to dress them, because, as you asked, if we are waiting on the clothing to brought in. Then once they are dressed they are placed in the casket. Then maybe the cosmetics are done the following day and then the hair. It just depends. But, yes we will start without clothing. ALL ALOT of families do not bring clothing with them when they come to make arrangements and some families don’t bring in the clothing for a few days…

      • thanks so much are they put in a fridge while waiting or is there no need ? both my family funerals have gone well in 2 different areas , but i dont know if embalming was done then 12years + ago there was viewing in chapel of rest , i mostly worked for myself and enjoyed the trust to be left to get on with it , doing the funeral must be hard work so much to get right

      • thefuneralbizz Says:

        some funeral homes have refridgeration, some do not. ours does not. there really is no need to refridgerate since most of our visitations/viewings happen within a few days, but even after emblaming takes place, we have had a body stay with us for over a month. just because he needed to be transferred to another city that was about 10 hours away and the area that we had to take him to is in an area where the cemeteries do not inter until afer the winter passes because the ground is too frozen to dig so they do not do any burials until after April. Embalming has been done for years and years and years….depending on certain areas, religious factors, etc… it can be very hard to make sure that all runs smooth and everything is done correctly for a funeral. if you forget to call in the vault, the cemetery and let them know, order the casket, etc…these things can be and have been overlooked, especially when we are very busy and are maybe planning 3-5 funerals at the same time. im glad that you felt you could leave the trust in the funeral homes hands and let them do what they do. alot of families have a hard time with that, and they feel that they need to be involved in every simple detail…and that is when things usually do become “messed” up..

      • thanks yep cant be easy at times lot to get right , do you just keep them in a room than ? its probly a bit different over here but no one likes to talk about death over here , dont get to see inside mortuary pics or furneral homes , my daughter is a nurse so has told me about that part of thing , at least you cant feel nothing a , i had a opp last year hurt like hell after !! jon

      • thefuneralbizz Says:

        yes, we keep them in the pre room (embalming room). however the one that we did have for a while who had to wait to be taken to another city when the cemetery was ready for burial, he was in a casket already. the family had services at our funeral home. So, he was embalmed and dressed. so after the services he was wrapped in plastic and the casket stayed shut! i don’t think too many people like to talk about death over here either, but i think it is becomming more of an open topic. its going to happen to all of us one of these days…unfortunatley….operations are not fun! i have a few, and the pain is awful! i do not envy you having to have them.

  3. lol thats how i feel , i have a carer and have to get naked i got used to it for my regurler one but when she is off i tred a stranger coming to do me , how many people do the prep work and is it behind closed doors ? i am getting cremated too but still got to get naked to change cloths . nice blog

    • thefuneralbizz Says:

      if you are being cremated with no viewing no visitation then you would be removed from place of death, in whatever it is you are wearing at the time, and immediatley transported to the crematory (in some instances you may be brought to the funeral home but only to be place into a cremation container, still clothed in whatever you passed away in) then taken to the crematory. yes, the prep work is done behind closed doors. the only people who have access to the prep room are the employees.

      • thank you for finding time i think from other death, family will have viewing , unlucky for me ! iam in uk so exspect it may be little different , how many people work in a prep room ? i may have to go down autopsy route to as i have a complex illness and our hospital has treated me for different things , hope you ve had a good week it must have some nice rewards doing this job

      • thefuneralbizz Says:

        ….well ultimately it is up to you, what you want. so if you do not want viewing, then let your family know that. it depends on how many people work in prep room, usually just one, but sometimes 2. only if it is a difficult case or we need help dressing or moving the body. as far as an autopsy, and i don’t know what the laws are in the uk, but since you do have illnesses, more than likely there would not be an autopsy. if someone was not ill and suddenly passed away, then there would be an autopsy. if there was a drug over dose, or “thought” it was a drug overdoese, then an autopsy would be preformed. if someone was murdered, then more than likely one would be done as well. but since you are under a doctors care for an illness (or many) then that doctor would or if you have several doctors, one of them would sign the death certificate because there was reason for death.

  4. i think you are right in complaining , i would like to know if you find it more akward preparing men then women ? i ask as there is not many times if any in a persons life that they would be naked in front of a stranger , and worse still that they dont know what is happening to them .

    • thefuneralbizz Says:

      hi jon, thanks for stoppin to read my blog! i just need a place to vent and complain….
      awkward…uhh maybe somewhat in the beginning, but now not so much. i do little prep work so im not always there when they are naked. but i know what you mean about now they are naked and don’t even know… I feel that way about myself. since working at a funeral home, i have decided on cremation! i don’t want anyone seeing me naked and i do not want to be embalmed!

  5. I don’t think you’re any different than any other normal employed person, except maybe you help loved ones deal with death, and of course corpses. But I deal with death too. Insurance claims. Believe me I know how you feel, you can only have so much compassion without going stir crazy thinking you’re being ‘fake’

    Keep going on the blog – its highly entertaining.

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