Life Working at a funeral home – WTF

Seriously, WTF? Yeah, I know, last post was all complaining too, but I am just in complete awe of how people have been behaving! I don’t know, maybe it’s the dreary weather here, it’s cold and hasnt been much sunlight, but that’s still no excuse to be an asshole to people! they should keep in mind that we are in fact the very people who are caring for your loved one who has passed..We are going thru great lengths to make sure your loved one looks the very best, to your liking, that every thing you think the funeral you have planned and paid for will be just that! But, nope! I mean, I’ve been very down in the dumps lately, mostly due to the weather. We literally had no sun for over two weeks! No lie! It was cold and miserable on top of that. I can handle the cold, the snow, the,freezing rain, all of it, but as long as we get some sun. And life in general has been not so great, just personal issues…But even tho I’m experiencing the blues, I’m feeling down too, I’m certainly not an asshole to anyone! Ok, well maybe I get a bit sassy with my other half or a bit of road rage (no I don’t mean I’m driving get like a moron or yelling out my window at other drivers, but I am talking to myself and saying a few choice words, to MYSELF). I would never talk nasty to anyone who walked into work just because. I’m never nasty to anyone who calls and asks a question or wants something done..Why would I? It’s my job first and foremost and secondly, why would I be rude to someone just to be rude? For those of you in the funeral business, I’m sure you will understand this.. Once we get the doctor information, the doctor who will be signing the death certificate, we have to contact that doctors office. At least we do, Everytime because the info we receive from the hospital, the Hospice nurse, the nursing home, the medical examiner, etc.. could be wrong. It happens ALOT! It’s frustrating to say the least. So anyway, we get a name of the doctor and if we’re lucky a phone number. We call the office and the conversation goes something like this, “Hi, this is so and so calling from ABC Funeral Home regarding Jane Smith who has passed away. ABC Hospital gave us Dr. Needless information and stated he would be the doctor signing her death certificate and I’m calling to verify this information and if correct what are the doctors hours so that we may bring the certificate to the office to get signed (or, will the doctor sign a faxed copy of the certificate)? We get all kinds of answers, but what gets me is the attitude of the person on the other end of the phone! One would think I’m asking for them to saw off their foot and send it to me! I’m simply asking them to do their job! They are the doctor’s receptionist, the are usually the first impression people get when contacting that office. If I was a patient, I would not be happy with that and I’m not so sure the doctor they work for would be ok with the way some of them speak! Now, I’m not talking all offices we call, but a good portion of them (and before anyone starts about how hard it is working for a doctor, I KNOW it is, I use to work for a couple doctors before I got into this line of work). Same goes for most of the City/County Clerk’s Offices. Talk about rude! We are using your services, WE are PAYING for your services, so why on earth would you be so rude to someone who is only asking you to do what you are supposed to do, your freaking job! It just frustrates me so much! I am expected to do my job for others, so I should expect others to do their job for me, right!! 

I have to vent about  a recent family. Talk about people thinking they are above you! Wow! From the get go, it was nothing but feeling as if we could do nothing right, that we were below them. There are a few tables in the chapel they were in and they brought in photos to place in the room. They brought in ALOT of photos. So when my boss said to them that there are a few tables, but may not have room for that many but maybe we could find another table for them and figure out where to put it, well, that just wasn’t what she wanted to hear! She let out a huge sigh of disgust and said something along the lines of (with eye rolling), I guess we’ll just have to not put them out and “I” will just figure it out, I’m only the one paying you people for what “I” want and I can’t even have the photos of my mother set up! Unbelievable! and she proceeded to ‘snatch’ the few frames out of bosses hands! He TRIED to tell her we could make it work, but she wasn’t hearing it, she WANTED something to be pissed about. Nothing was good enough for them. You know those people, the ones who look for things to be upset about. Unfortunately I have found that there are far too many of those people around these days.

And now on to my lovely co workers. I try to mind my own business, I do. I would rather just come to work and do my work and let everyone else do their work and all be good…but it just doesn’t work that way! I do my work and I usually get stuck doing other work and that’s ok for the most part, but it can become a giant pain in the ass when the work you are doing is someone else’s because that someone else is too busy NOT doing their job! They are too busy bitching and complaining about everyone else! Shut your trap, stop worrying about what everyone else is doing or not doing, quit finding excuses to leave and do your freaking job! I hate that shit! What pisses me off even more is when I get stuck doing their work and I make an error and I get scolded for making the mistake! Well, yes, I am the one who made the error, but had I not have had to do someone else’s work it probably would not have happened! 

Ok, I’ll wrap it up. . for now 😉

Life Working at a funeral home – VENTING!

I’ve been working on another post, but I have to vent!

First of all, I want to say to anyone who may be reading this that the reason I started this blog was so I could vent my frustrations. over the past 9 years, I’ve had a few comments about my bitching.. my purpose was and is not to argue with anyone or start arguements, but I do realize that it happens, especially on the Internet. I haven’t really really vented in a while, but right now I just need to. So if anyone is reading this and gets upset by what I write here, I make no apologies and I will not respond to any comments that lead to a back and forth arguing.

I’ve mentioned in other posts about how I feel about people, that they are rude, no one has any manners anymore and everything  is now now now! It has just got out of hand and I for one am just beyond fed up! I’m tired of having to bend over backwards for people! I get it, I work in the funeral business, but I’m still sick of rude obnoxious spoiled people. I am tired of the people who I have to deal with including ‘some’ of the families we get. Why don’t people LISTEN?!? We are NOT at the funeral home 24/7! We are NOT there just sitting around waiting just incase you want to stop by at 5pm on Sunday evening because you want to drop off the pictures for the visitation you are going to have on Tuesday at Noon! NO! We are not going to sit and wait around on you on a Saturday evening because you want to drop off clothing that we TOLD you to bring in by 5pm on FRIDAY! ! It doesn’t work that way! We have hours of operation just like other businesses! The only difference is that we make ourselves available after hours incase a death occurs. Of course we will answer a call at anytime of the day or night for a death call. We are not available anytime of the day or night because someone needs a work or school excuse. You actually think that we are going to stop what we are doing on a Sunday afternoon  (the funeral home is closed if there is no visitation), and run to the funeral home because someone forgot to get a work excuse while they were there for the funeral? NO we aren’t! It’s just dumb shit anymore. I have people call during the evening or on weekends when we are closed and say that they are at the funeral home but no one is answering the door! Nine times out of ten, they are annoyed that no one is there! Really? You just decided to show up and you’re mad? Then to find out its just because they have a couple cases of water to drop off for their visitation the following day! Look, you set times for your visitation, you get a family hour! How long does it take really to carry a few cases of water into the funeral home? Maybe ten minutes TOPS?!? I hate when we set times and the family hour is all set and the next question I get is, ‘so what time can we all come”? Are you kidding me?
Want want want, but don’t put forth the effort to get what you want! You want grandma in a certain dress, she cannot wear anything else. Fine, that’s understandable, but when you are told that we MUST have that dress by a certain time, BRING it by that time!! You want a photo on the prayer folders, we tell you we must have that photo by a certain time in order for them to be ready by your visitation, then have it to us by that time!
Another annoying thing, when families start telling everyone when visitation and funeral will be BEFORE they even come in to make arrangements! DO NOT DO THAT! Don’t post on social media about it, nothing, until you have actually made the ARRANGEMENTS with the funeral home!!
You may want your viewing on Tuesday and funeral on Wednesday and you want specific times, and usually we can and will accommodate that, but sometimes we can’t! Also it may not even be us who is unable to accommodate those days and times, it could be that your priest or pastor is not available at that time, or the church is not available at that time! USE COMMON SENSE! Just because someone died, the world does not stop! And I absolutely hate when the attitude comes out because they don’t get their way!
Same thing with the God forsaken death certificates! It’s sometimes the only thing some people are focused on. You’ll get the freaking death certificates, but we cannot force the doctor to sign it any faster! Believe me, if we could we would! They are becoming harder and harder to accomplish anymore and when we try and explain the process of getting a death certificate signed, no one listens! If people would just shut up for two seconds and stop being so selfish and understand that there are some things that you just have to wait for! Trust me when I say I want nothing more then to get the death certificate signed and give to you asap!
Food, yes, my biggest pet peeve! I dislike those of you who bring in food! I’ve always bitched about it, but never really came right out and said I can’t stand those families who feel the need to bring in a shit load of fucking food! It’s like the biggest concern, not the deceased, but the freaking food! And.. why? Why do you need to bring in so much food anyway? Some snacks, water, even some soda, fine, but people, STOP it with your freaking food at the funeral home! You do not need to feed the people who are coming to pay their respects! especially if you plan on having a luncheon! ERGHHH!
As I have said before, if you are here for visitation and will be all day, then leave for an hour to go eat! Or bring “yourself” some thing in. I just get so irritated with the families who make it all about their food, when can we bring in the food? is there enough room? do you supply plates and utensils? cups? water? napkins? is there tables for everyone to sit at, should we bring in our own table? where will we keep the food that needs to be kept cold? And I just love when they bring in their crock pots!

Children.. they are YOUR kids, NOT MINE! I will not watch your kids. If you must bring them with you then you need to keep them under control and they should be on their best behavior! They should not be permitted to run around like wild animals. There are things that they can get hurt on. Our funeral home is not child proof and you should not assume it is. We have steps/stairs and when your brats are let loose to run wild, well, when they fall or go rolling down the stairs and crack their heads open on the tile, it’s no one’s fault but your own! It’s is also not a place for their screaming! It is still a place of business and we are still working here. Use common sense!! Your kid is yelling and screaming, would you allow that at home while you are on the phone? Do you allow them to yell and scream and run up and down and up and down and up and down your steps? Probably not! Then don’t let them do it at the funeral home! Sometimes there are more then one family using the funeral home and that other family does not want to hear your kid! Have some respect for others!
If and when an employee does tell your child to quiet down or stop running, do not give them dirty looks, if you were doing your job as a parent, then the employee would not have had to say anything! I think it’s ridiculous that you bring your small children to a funeral home all day anyway. Get a sitter! Go home! take turns with your spouse or other family member. Bring them some books to read or color, do not assume they will be ok unsupervised! You may not be the only family using the funeral home, you have no idea what kind of people are here or who can walk in the door! We do not stand at the door and ask who every person is as they come in.
Flowers. . We get flowers all throughout the day and we have to carry them into the chapel. So if the family and visitors are here and flowers come in, we have to walk in the chapel with a stand and a flower working our way past everyone. Be polite and MOVE for us would ya?!? Also, when we set the flowers down, don’t stand over my shoulder waiting to look at the card! Wait a minute until I walk away! Also, if you don’t see your flowers you sent, sure you can ask us about it, but if we don’t have your flowers and they aren’t on our sign in list, then you need to contact the flower shop. I’m not sure why we get asked, “why aren’t my flowers set out”? Well, if they didn’t get delivered then I can’t set them out.”
Then comes the… “why were my flowers not delivered”? I don’t know, call the place you ordered them from!
It’s just stupid shit really.. But it adds up and pisses me off! We had a very busy few months and people have been really more annoying than usual.
There is alot to do and think about once someone passes, but it still is not an excuse to be an asshole! And yes, I’ve lost loved ones and yes, I’ve been the one who made the arrangements. And during those times I was not a jerk to anyone just because.
I received a comment recently.. it was said that I was quick to judge. There may be times when I am, sure. But, probably more so outside of work. It is difficult to judge those people/families I work with because I actually get to know them. I’ve never met these people before, so when they come in I meet them for the first time and immediately get to know them. I work with them from the moment I speak to them on the phone or the moment they walk in the door so I don’t really get the opportunity to judge anyone before getting to know them, especially in this business. If there is an insurance assignment, it is to pay the funeral bill, anything left over goes to the beneficiary/beneficiaries. I hear the stories!

So, there it is, my rant. I’m just burnt out. . I’m sure those in the business can understand.

Life working at a funeral home – Micro Managing

(This is going to be a shorter post, I have another post I am currently working on and will post soon).

Don’t! Just don’t! Do not MICRO MANAGE!  For everyone out there who will plan a funeral for someone, DO NOT micro manage! Let the funeral home do their job!

Why? Because it will screw it up. Trust me. Every single time we get a family who is the type who micro manages, who goes over every single detail over and over and over again, there WILL be an error! it never fails.
You may feel you are doing it right. You may think you have to make sure every single little detail is your responsibility, as if you owe it to your loved one… It’s not. We do this every day, that’s what we are here for, this is what we do, day in and day out.
When you begin to constantly worry about every little thing and question every detail, YOU start to forget, YOU begin to forget if you did this or if you asked this, then you are continually calling us and then getting things twisted and it then begins to confuse us because you had already forgot what you have told us. So when the day arrives and you see some thing that was done “wrong” you become upset. When really you had changed your mind so many times that it’s actually correct!
See where I’m coming from?
And of course when emotions are high and you have exhausted yourself ‘planning’ this funeral, you are not going to admit you are wrong! When in fact you are!
This also goes for those who call or come in for pricing. The ones who are “calling around” for the family or friends. They share the info and then someone has a question, so then you call back. Then you want more or different pricing for different services. . We always suggest coming in for pricing. This isn’t to get you in to the funeral home, we aren’t trying to sell you anything, it is just better when you are face to face and EVERYTHING can be wrote down so there isn’t any miscommunication! From us yelling you over the phone, you telling another person, then them questioning you and then you now have to call us again. It is irritating, I’m being honest, it’s irritating! When you then actually come in to make those arrangements, chances are you are going to say that we said something else!
So that’s that.. just my rant for today, I hope a micro manager reads this!

Life at a funeral home – been a while

Can’t say it’s been crazy busy, so no excuse for not writing.
I guess just not too much to write about.
One thing that’s been bothering me, and actually has been for a while now, are co workers. I know I’ve wrote briefly about it before, but recently it’s just really gotten to me.
I don’t come to work to compete with anyone else. I come to work to do my job. I like my job and I’m good at my job. I worry about what I need to do, what I have to get done and by when. I don’t screw around (there are those slow days tho when we all get to goof off) I don’t put things off and I do go the extra step if and when needed. If someone needs help with something, has a question, etc. .I am always willing to help, no matter what! Do I hope my boss notices, of course I do, but I don’t do it just so he may notice, I do it because I feel that when and if I should need help those that I have helped will be there to help me. I also feel that when you are at work you should worry about yourself, not what anyone else is doing/not doing, unless it is directly affecting you. I can only hope that those I work with do the same, but as we all know (and hate) there are those other employees that just want to meddle in everyone else’s business and watch everyone else’s moves. Instead of worrying about themselves! That’s what just pisses me off.
Instead of being so concerned about what time so and so signed out at, be concerned about what time YOU are signing out at! Instead of worrying about how long someone has been gone running death certificates, transferring a body, etc.. be concerned about YOUR work! Also nothing else is worse than a brown nose. Nothing is more irritating than someone who is a constant bullshitter and it just amazes me that most people can’t see thru the bullshit! I sit in amazement when I hear said bullshitter go on and on and that others actually believe them.. Of course I keep my mouth shut and go on my way. Gossip is also a bad habit. Yes, I’ve been sucked into gossip before and sometimes still do, but I catch myself these days and just keep quiet, even if I may agree.. lol. I have also realized who will rat you out to save their ass. I don’t, intentionally, do anything that would get me into trouble, there are those who do, but those very people are the ones who will go behind your back to get you in trouble to save their ass! For the most part everyone here gets along. At the same time, there is alot of talking behind people’s backs. I know who I can trust and who I cant.. Wish it didn’t have to be that way tho. I also hate liars.. those who feel they have to lie about shit that’s not even something they have a reason to lie about! I guess a liar is almost the same as a bullshitter. But the one I’m speaking of will lie and will have his/her family help lie about what they are lying about.. You know those fake phone calls where the other person is aware that the other is lying, so to make the story sound real? Well, this one person does it often and I once could hear the other person on other end of line, couldn’t hear everything, but enough to know what was going on.

So, enough about that, it’s irritating me just as I write about it.

As far as funerals, there is alot that goes on “behind the scenes”. I don’t think most realize this and for the most part it really shouldn’t be something that families should be concerned about. But, there are times when people, visitors, will begin to notice that maybe a few more chairs are needed because the room is getting full. Well, we know this and we are watching. I don’t mean to imply that we get mad or that we don’t need anyone to tell us, it’s just that we do know. What is irritating and frustrating is when we are trying to bring in extra chairs and noone will move. We can say excuse me a thousand times, but no one moves! So, we will stop trying to set more chairs up. So what happens when just before the service is to start? Every one begins to complain to eachother about no where to sit and we have several people TELL us they need chairs! Not ASK us, but TELL us. Had anyone paid attention sooner, all would be good. Same thing happens when just prior to service, the Director will ‘try’ to make announcement to say for everyone to please find a seat, turn your phones off, the service is going to begin…And we have the same issue  no one is listening, so it takes that much longer to get everyone quiet and seated. Which brings me to after the service. Now we are running behind. So yes, we are trying to rush you without it being too noticeable and with out being rude. When we ask that you pass by the casket and EXIT the funeral home to your vehicles, GO! Don’t linger, just go! I do not understand why so many people, who are NOT immediate family, linger and refuse to go to their car. Those are the people who ultimately hold everything up. We cannot give the family their last few moments with the deceased if you are still hanging about..and heaven forbid we say, “you need to go”! We have, but of course we get the usual snare or the, “well, I’m their good friend, etc”! I don’t care who the hell you are, if the family doesn’t want you in here then you need to go!
When arriving at funeral home, if you are not driving your vehicle in the procession, then don’t park in it! When asked if you will be in the procession and you say that you don’t know, you will be asked to not leave your car in the line up, you’ll be asked to move it.. It’s too hard to keep putting in and taking cars out! When leaving the lot in procession, WATCH WHAT IS GOING ON! When leaving the lot, do not be on your phone!! When we YELL at you to “GO”! we do not appreciate you giving us dirty looks or saying rude things. Pay attention, we are looking out for YOUR safety!

Maybe the heat is getting to me, I dunno, but I do know most people are really getting on my nerve..

Hope you all are having a wonderful summer!

Life at a funeral home – WHY

I often wonder when it was that people became so rude, impolite, self absorbed? I’ve worked with the public pretty much my entire working life. I have always known there were “those” people, but I’m not sure if it’s me who is getting older and noticing it more or if people have really become so selfish, mean spirited, and well, assholes?
Every day almost I encounter someone who is just unpleasant. Wether it be on the phone or in person. I am speaking of work, but yes, of course I encounter them outside of work as well.. But it just seems that people do not have any hesitation being rude or speaking down to others. For example, we receive quite a few calls per day requesting pricing. We do not have any problem giving pricing over the phone. When I give pricing I explain to them what is included in that cost and what is NOT included. However, most of the time I cannot even begin to tell the person what is not included because I either get hung up on, the person will say, “what?!? NEVERMIND”! and hang up, or they will say, “that includes everything, right”? When I say no, I usually get, “that’s ridiculous, why is it so much”?!? I have people who have started bitching at me because the cost is high and they can’t afford it, or just be downright rude! Especially the ones who just hang up. Is it really that shocking that funerals are EXPENSIVE? And is it necessary to speak to someone that way? YOU called ME! I nicely answered your questions, I took the time to speak to with you, yes, it’s my job, but I would never speak to someone the way these people speak to me, regardless of the answer! If I called some place to request cost of something, why would I be rude in return just because I did not like their answer? ! ? Can people just simply say, “ok, thank you for your time”. Or even just, “thanks”.
I have also experienced quite a lot lately where people arrive for viewing  (the family) and other family members have not yet arrived. Now when people come in to make arrangements there is an informant. Usually that person is the next of kin. This is the person who is ‘in charge’. So if that person has not yet arrived and other family members have, we typically wait for them before letting anyone go into the chapel, unless the informant has told us previously that it is ok that people go in if they are not there. Well, you can imagine a group of people arriving expecting to be able to enter the Chapel for first viewing, which is considered the family hour, and we have to say that so and so has not arrived yet so we will have to wait for them…you would think people would understand this, but no. Usually they get quite pissy with us! I mean really? Here is let’s say, the grandkids and maybe some cousins and even the deceaseds siblings but the husband hasn’t arrived yet and the husband is the informant. So we tell them that that Mr. Whoever hasn’t arrived yet but once he does then they may go in. Why would we NOT wait?? This happens alot when we have a younger person and there are two sets of parents and also when there are siblings. If siblings arrive early, they seem to think they can just go on in. To be honest, I don’t care one way or the other. Well anyway, they get pissy because they have to wait and also think they are above having to wait. This not only happens with family but friends as well. We get so many friends that show up during family hour who feel they should be allowed to go in, regardless if family has gone in yet or not. Of course if the family is there, we will ask them, but if no one has been in yet, then no! Why would you think it’s ok for us to let you go in before any of the family has even been in? I’ve heard the excuse that they won’t be able to make it later, they have to go to work or whatever, so they just thought they would come by early. It just doesn’t work that way.
On to the next.. Life Insurance. I know that people want their money!! Don’t call me, call the insurance company!! Calling the funeral home is not gonna help you get your money faster. We want our payment too! So of course I have to explain, AGAIN, that it’s not uncommon for us to wait 30 days or more to receive payment. Also that we will only receive OUR portion, not yours! Your payment will be sent directly to you. Ok, they say. or they ask why it takes so long. . Then a week goes by and that same person is calling, AGAIN, complaining that it’s taking too long. Not my problem.. As I stated TWO TIMES  already, call the insurance company!
We ask our families who will be coming in to pick up the flowers, the family items (sign in book, extra prayer cards, death certificates, anything we removed from casket prior to closing casket, etc). We always ask them the evening before the funeral. We also ask if they would like the cards from the flowers removed and put in the bag with their family items. We explain to them that whoever they list will be the only people we will release the flowers to as well as anything else! It seems lately that this has become a big deal. Some people, wether it be family members or friends, feel that they are doing the family a favor by coming to the funeral home and trying to pick up everything for them “so they don’t have to worry about it”. Well, that’s nice and all, but we can’t let you take anything”. This seems to piss people off. They can’t grasp that flowers are “that big of a deal”. I don’t care personally, but the family does! Also, there are personal items as well, like jewelry, donation envelopes, cards, death certificates, etc. How do we know you aren’t going to help yourself to the jewelry or the donation envelopes and then say you didn’t take anything and blame the funeral home? When there are several children or siblings or whoever and they have to split up flowers because one person wants this plant and another wants this arrangement, do it at HOME! And NO, we do not take photos of each flower arrangement! And again, if you want to take pictures of each arrangement, DO IT AT HOME! I hate when family arrives to pick their things up and they stand there going back and forth over who is taking what and then arguing over it! I don’t really care if your employer sent that one or this one, just someone take it already! As far as the cards being removed, it’s really annoying when they have told us to remove them then when they come to pick them up, someone mentions that now they won’t know who sent what and now when doing Thank You cards your not gonna know!! You do not have to write in the thank you card that you are thanking them for the flowers they sent. You simply write the deceaseds name… and since I’m speaking of Thank You cards, you do not need to send a prayer card with each Thank You card! If you are sending out a Thank You card to someone chances are you are sending it to someone who came to the visitation and or funeral, right? So, more than likely when that person came to funeral home and or church, they took a prayer card! And what do most people do with those cards anyway? They hang on to them for a little while maybe.. or they put them away someplace and I bet most of them end up in the trash. I’m sure there are those who do keep them, but I’m sure most throw them away…eventually. But, anyway, unless someone wasn’t able to make it, but did send something, then yes, by all means, send them one, but if they signed the book, don’t waste your money by ordering more! I have so many families come back and ask if they can have more just for that reason. I always tell them they don’t have to send them, but…they want them anyway. I will usually just give them away, unless they want alot or if there was a photo on their cards. I had one family who wanted more and there was a photo on these particular cards, so not only did it take a day for us to get them ready for them it cost them over $100 because they wanted 100 cards! It’s just kinda ridiculous to spend that money on them when you already did and you are now going to send another card to the same people who already got one.
Most of our State is now on edrs, which just means we can file death certificates electronically. But there are still a few cities who aren’t on it, which makes it very inconvenient for me. I can’t do a death certificate on edrs if the city in which it files in is not using it. Also, many doctors still haven’t grasped that they can now sign a faxed copy of a death certificate, even when I try my hardest to explain to them that they can and why! Even though they have ALL been notified by the State of what edrs is and that they can sign a faxed copy! It just makes it all so much easier on us because otherwise we are running around dropping off and picking up death certificates. The doctor can be an hour away and when we go to their offices they don’t just sign them while we are there, we have to leave it and wait for a call letting us know its ready, so then we have to go to their office again to pick it up! Most doctors are not so cooperative when signing either. There are laws regarding time frame, but they really are not enforced and there are times when doctors will just leave it sit on their desk for days and we are calling the office asking if its ready yet. The office staff aren’t always pleasant to deal with either, which just makes the whole experience a pain in the ass!
Well, those are my recent rantings…
Hope you all are enjoying Spring, now that it has arrived!

Life at a funeral home – I’m still here

just wanted to let ya’ll know I’m still here..
Have had alot going on the last few months. Hopefully I will have a new post soon.
Take care!

Life a Funeral Home-Ugh

We have been busy!! I am literally. exhausted. . I usually don’t sleep all that well, I always wake up at least twice during the night… I think out this whole past week, I woke up once total!

on to the ranting… Like I said, we were busy. Now, we had a large visitation scheduled. This person was very well known so we knew it was going to be very crowded, which it was. This particular family came in on Saturday and made arrangements. On Monday we had another new call, they came in on Monday early afternoon. The family who came in on Saturday scheduled their visitation for Tuesday with funeral Wednesday. The family who came in on Monday wanted Tuesday as well. This was not in their best interest! We told them that typically we would not tell anyone we could not accommodate them, but in this instance we were encouraging them to go with Wednesday because well, we could not accommodate them due to the fact that we already have a visitation scheduled and we knew it was going to be packed! We explained that we would have to utilize our other chapels for the overflow of guests. They said, “No, we have to have Tuesday, there is no way we can wait until Wednesday, this is what we discussed with the rest of our family and we cannot do another day”!  Now, it could just be me, but wouldn’t you WAIT to actually make the arrangements BEFORE telling people what day it’s going to be? Wouldn’t you discuss with your family other options? Sounds crazy, I know! Well, we continued with the arrangements and at the end we told them again that they need to reconsider or we would most likely have to turn them away. We explained that never have we turned anyone away, ever! But in this case, we really did not have a choice. Well, thank goodness they decided to take our advice! They weren’t angry or anything, but had they not been flexible and we did cave and let them be there on Tuesday, they would not have been very happy. There were so many people there, the halls were packed, I couldn’t even walk thru. When I finally left work, in the parking lot, people were all over the place! It was a mad house! OH, and yes, there was LOTS of food! Pizzas, subs, cookies, vegetables and dip, chips, pop, water, brownies, gift baskets filled with crap, fruit, Chinese food even! But.. This family was one of the nicest families we have had in a very long time! As many people who were there, as much food as there was, everyone was exceptionally nice, well behaved, neat and cleaned up after themselves! it was amazing! I know that sounds absurd, but those who work in this business know what I mean. I would trade being that busy any day if families and guests were all like that!
However, the week prior, we had a family who were nice, but maybe a bit crazy, at least some of them. We were ‘warned’ about a certain family member who surely was going to create problems and most likely a scene! As I stood there listening to this person ‘warn’ us, I kept thinking to myself, How are WE being ‘warned’!?! This is bullshit! Why can’t we be the ones ‘warning’ THEM that if anyone steps out of line, we would not hesitate to end all visitation and services immediately? Why are we not ‘allowed’ to ‘warn’ them?!? After they ‘warned’ us, my boss says to them,  “well, I hope this family member does behave because we will also have another family here for visitation at the same time “. This person said, “OH NO! There will be?!? Ugh, I don’t know if that’s a good idea”! WTF!?! Really? They feel it’s not a good idea? It isn’t up to them! It’s a freaking funeral home! Most of the time when I visit other funeral homes for a friend or loved one, there is usually always more than one family there. Why is this such a big deal for people! I got that again today when the family whose viewing started today when they brought in ALL their freaking food at 10am! They wanted to see the lounge. Ok, so I show them. They say, “ok, this will work, there is plenty of space. I have a bunch of food and supplies in my car I will need to bring in, there won’t be any other families here, will there”? Uhh, “this will work”? Oh, ok. Well thank goodness, because I hate to see if it wasn’t good enough! Oh and by the way, they weren’t even having an all day visitation! So after bringing in a bunch of soda, two cases of water, three cookie platters…chips, some other family members show up with some more shit. They brought in three boxes. In the boxes were all sorts of sandwiches. I’m not talking small boxes either.. There were probably at least 50 sandwiches to a box. My coworker said to one of them, “wow, that’s a lot of sandwiches “! The lady who carried them in says, “yeah, well we will be here all day, so we are going to have to eat something”! First, no you’re not gonna be here ALL day and second, that’s enough food to feed a small army!

For those who also work at funeral homes, you all know that any day can be a busy day. There doesn’t have to be a visitation or funeral going on, no arrangements, nothing.. But we are still busy!! Of course there are those days when it’s soooooo quiet, you can’t keep your eyes open! But I always hear from people who may stop in to pick up death certificates or cremated remains, etc.. how it must be nice to have it be so quiet and have down time.. Uhhhh… well, we don’t really have THAT much downtime! I still have my mom say to me when she asks if I’ve been busy at work, I’ll tell her yes and she asks, “oh, so you have alot of funerals then”? When I say no, she ALWAYS says, “well then your not busy”. Ive tried explaining to her that just because we don’t have funerals doesn’t mean I’m not busy. I can have busier days on those days with no visitation or funerals! There is just so much that goes on, I don’t think people realize that. For instance today, no visitation or funerals but yet I didn’t stop all day! I had a lady call because she needed a photo copy of her father’s death certificate from 2002. I had a family who came in because they wanted to order an urn, a special urn with a certain carving on the wood and then engraved, I had a body that had to go to the crematory, I had three death certificates that needed to be filed (in three different cities), I had several bills to do, I had to type a death certificate, order some pendants for a family, had another family come in to pick up their loved ones cremated remains, I had to contact a life insurance company about a claim / assignment we submitted, I had to contact our local funeral directors association, I had a couple of letters I needed to type, and I had all end of month stuff to complete and in the middle of all of that, the phone is still ringing!
So it bothers me when people assume all we do is sit around when we dont have a visitation or funeral!
Ok.. I’m done for now. I am really trying to blog more!!
hope you all are doing well and getting thru the winter (those of you who have to deal with cold and snow)!
Happy Ground Hog Day!